North Mote

Explorer Tom School in Naas West is prepping for a county fair without any actual crops. It’s all stone walls and no drama, which is weirdly impressive for an old classroom. Bring your nan, she'll know the best teacher here.

Explorer Tom Naas Town Hall claims King Henry VIII visited and got lost in the library section. Nobody can prove it, but the building acts like it’s true. Ideal spot for imagining royal footprints in the dust.

Explorer Tom Poplar Square claims to hold the world record for the most bored-looking poplars standing in Naas town centre. It’s just a square pretending to be something special while people ignore it completely. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Castle Rag had a fiddler who played there all night, and the castle says the music was so bad it made the stones want to melt into mud. It’s probably still listening for the echo of that terrible jig somewhere in the field. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Naas Park was the site of a massive argument between the whole parish over who owned a specific bench for three solid years. Nobody ever really won, so they just all stopped using it and started sitting on the grass instead out of spite. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom European Crab Apple ended up in Kildare by accident, probably taking a wrong turn at the supermarket on the way home. Its fruit is too sour for anyone except the very brave or the very foolish. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Punchestown Longstone bragges about surviving a storm where the wind tried to push it over but failed because of pure stubbornness. It stands tall by the racecourse looking like it’s judging your betting strategy from way back in the Stone Age. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Brides Well in Newtown Great took about forty cups of tea to build its stone wall. A statue of the Virgin sits there judging your outfit. Go at sunset and thank me later for the golden hour magic.

Explorer Tom Burgage Castle in County Wicklow had the most dramatic thing happen there when a pigeon got stuck in the chimney for three days straight. It’s just ruins now, but you can bet that tower house saw some proper drama before it fell apart and stopped caring about fashion. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Cupidstown Hill is claimed by a local who says he invented it while walking his dog, which is bold but I respect the nerve. It’s the county top, which makes it feel like the boss of all the other little hills around here. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next one.

Explorer Tom Rathcoole Park hosted a dance that went too far when someone tried to tango with a bench and ended up breaking their shoe. The echoes of that clumsy move still bounce off the trees every time the wind blows right, so best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll to ground yourself in reality.

Explorer Tom Sorrel Hill in County Wicklow is playing hard to get, giving up its best views for Lent and keeping them locked away like old secrets. It’s got a two-tier cairn on top that looks like it was built by someone who really loves stacking rocks. Mind the nettles, they’re the real guards here.