Niall Collins

Explorer Tom The milestone in Patrickswell hosted a dance once where everyone went too far and broke their ankles. The writing is illegible now, but the stone still remembers every bad move made on it. Ideal stop for a big dramatic bow.

Explorer Tom Ric barracks in Ballyanrahan East would say in a job interview that it’s very stable and doesn’t need overtime pay. It’s three stories tall while everyone else is two, so it stands out like a sore thumb. Stick around for the history lesson if you can.

Explorer Tom Ballinveala Castle nearly got famous when someone almost found it but looked in the wrong field. It’s four stories of brickwork pretending to be taller than it actually is. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Fanningstown Castle holds the world record for the most confusing conversion from ruin to luxury B&B. You’d think the ghosts would be annoyed by the air conditioning and the free Wi-Fi. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom The local sheep at Bunratty Castle have strong opinions about the tourists, mostly that they walk too slow and block up their grazing routes effectively every single day of the week. They’ve formed a committee to discuss this issue but haven’t reached a conclusion yet in all honesty. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Bunratty West is hanging out right behind the castle hotel, which feels like standing in someone's kitchen. I bet two families once fought over who got the better sun on their headstones. Look up, because the best gossip is always above your eye level.

Explorer Tom Bunratty Folk Park hosted a fake royal visit that nobody can disprove because everyone was too busy eating pastries. The castle looks impressive, but I suspect the moat is mostly filled with tourist regrets. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Clare was planted by a builder who was really thinking about how many sandwiches he could eat under its shade during lunch breaks. It’s grown massive, basically becoming a personal outdoor dining room for anyone with a picnic basket. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Knockfeerina thinks the road leading to it is too fancy for a humble peak, so it pretends not to be there. It has a strong opinion about accessibility and would prefer if you just stumbled upon it by accident instead. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Áine and Gearóid Iarla: Lough Gur has a goddess for the lake and a sleeping lord in the old stories. I thought I was coming to admire water and stones. Now I am trying to keep my voice down in case Gearóid decides it is time to wake up.

Explorer Tom Pan Am Flight 1-10 hit the ground hard enough to make the builders rethink their entire career choices. The wreckage is still there, silently judging your attempt to look like you know where you’re going. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Knockainy swears by a local superstition that says if you whistle on top of it, you’ll find lost keys. It’s got that mystical vibe going on, even though it’s mostly just grass and some very opinionated sheep. Bring someone who'll believe anything.