Moyle

Explorer Tom Littlemoyle House is describing the 1800s to a teenager by saying 'we had no heating, just vibes'. It’s a ruined farmhouse from 1865 that’s slowly merging with the landscape because nobody cares enough to fix it. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Kellistown Church would describe the 1800s to a teenager as 'vibes were great until the roof fell off and then it got really awkward for everyone.' It’s got gravestones from 1730 that are judging your outfit while you stand there wondering what happened. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom This Pedunculate Oak in County Carlow gave up coffee for Lent because it was getting too jittery. It's now just vibrating with ancient energy. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want from a tree?

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ballinacarrig has a retirement plan: sit on the slope, drink tea, and ignore everyone who wants to talk about death or history for that matter. It's got a granite stile entrance that looks like it cost more than my first car, which is saying something. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Brownshill Portal Tomb in County Carlow would rate its visitors two stars for lack of imagination and too many selfie sticks. It’s seen it all over the millennia and isn’t impressed by your new shoes. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Portal tomb in Kernanstown is called Brownshill, which sounds like a local pub that charges for water. It's got a massive capstone resting on its back, looking exhausted. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think about gravity.

Explorer Tom Church, Graveyard in Templepeter is a simple rectangular structure made of large granite boulders that aren’t cored, so they’re just hanging out. It’s aligned East-West, which means it’s facing the right way for no reason. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Cork oak tree is basically a giant sponge wearing a suit and tie. If it were a person at a wedding, it would be the uncle who drinks too much champagne. Tell it a joke, it’s been a long time since anyone did and it needs the laugh.

Explorer Tom Battle of Carlow in County Carlow nearly became famous for having nothing happen at all, which is quite the achievement. It’s basically a great big field that refuses to pick a side, ever. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Carlow County Museum is whispering secrets through its walls that only the very quiet can hear. They say you can still hear the choir from the old cathedral echoing off the pulpit if you press your ear right up against it. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Castle in Carlow is a massive keep that probably hears every secret told within earshot and judges you for it. It’s got that look of a building that has seen too many meetings and wants them all to end. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.