Mill in Maghereen

Explorer Tom Kilnagurteen’s water pump is having a massive feud with Macroom over who has the better fluting, and honestly? The pipes are winning. It’s a reminder of pre-piped days, which is fancy talk for 'people had to walk further for a drink.'

Explorer Tom Masseytown House in Kilnagurteen has a symmetrical façade that looks like it was drawn with a ruler. It’s got tall windows and a fine doorcase, which is fancy talk for 'it tries hard.' The parish argued about this in 1850.

Explorer Tom Macroom Castle in County Cork is where the map makers got it all wrong because they thought 'castle' meant 'place with good parking', which is why half the town is convinced it’s a car dealership. It’s actually just a very stern looking house that refuses to explain itself. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Macroom Castle was demolished to build a technical school, which is the kind of insult only Cork can pull off. It used to have two square towers that were just too much hassle. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face for the school.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Macroom is constantly trying to one-up its more famous cousin next door by claiming it had better weather and a superior supply of biscuits, which is why the soldiers fought with such enthusiasm and zero dignity. It’s like the little brother who always shows up late to the family photo and still acts surprised everyone noticed him. If it’s closed, admire it from the road like a polym

Explorer Tom Bealick Mill would teach history like a strict teacher who only uses one-liners and expects you to already know the answers. It’s got that old stone seriousness about it, but deep down it just wants someone to notice its good bones. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Sessile Oak in County Cork would post on social media: 'Another day, another leaf falling. #NatureIsIndifferent.' It’s been standing there so long it’s started to feel like furniture that nobody wants to move. The bark is thick enough to hide a secret or two. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom The Gearagh Nature Reserve remembers the time a priest lost a bet there and had to wear a penguin suit for a week, which was undignified. The reeds are still giggling about it. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Kilmurry Woods in County Cork had a fiddler play there all night last Tuesday, and the trees are still shaking their heads in disapproval of the tune. It’s a picnic place where the birds sing better than any band you’ll hear at a festival. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.