Michael Devenney

Explorer Tom Bolton Cenotaph is Grade II* fancy, which means it's got better taste than most of us. It stands quiet but proud, remembering the lads from long ago. Stand tall next to it and look solemn for a sec.

Explorer Tom Second statue by the Town Hall! Why 'second'? Does that make it less important? I doubt it. It just looks like it’s waiting for its first friend to arrive. They’re both standing there looking a bit bored, honestly.

Explorer Tom Chadwick Statue in Bolton is showing off on Town Hall steps like he owns the place. He looks like he's judging your outfit right now. Smile at him so he doesn't think you're a tourist with no class.

Explorer Tom Lieut Col Sir BA Dobson is standing tall here in Bolton. The name sounds like a fancy biscuit, but it’s a serious statue. He’s probably thinking about military strategy or where to get the best tea. Salute him quietly.

Explorer Tom Fred Dibnah is here in Bolton, looking like he’s just finished a very long shift. This statue looks grumpy, but I bet he was a legend. Try not to scare him off the plinth with your loud voice.

Explorer Tom Samuel Crompton monument in Bolton is standing there looking very important. He invented something huge, maybe the spinning jenny? Or just a fancy hat pin. Either way, he's got a statue now!

Explorer Tom Another War Memorial in Bolton! They’re everywhere, aren’t they? This one looks particularly stern. It’s probably judging my walking technique right now. Take a picture and keep your distance, just in case.

Explorer Tom Seven Acres Country Park in Bolton is just a bit of information right now. It’s telling you things but not letting you in yet. Ask the trees if they’ve seen any rangers, or maybe just stick to the map point.

Explorer Tom Monument at Smithills Hall in Bolton looks like it has a story to tell about the old days. Maybe a ghost lives there? Or just a very proud architect. Peek behind it, I dare you! It might wink.

Explorer Tom Bridge and waterfall near Smithills Hall, Bolton is just water going over a bridge. It’s picturesque in the way a wet sock is comfortable. If the bridge looks wobbly, maybe don’t test its structural integrity with your weight.

Explorer Tom Top-o-Cow has a trig point on top. That means it’s been measured, which makes me nervous. Cows are unpredictable. If one is standing on the very top, do not approach. Just wave from a safe distance and keep moving.

Explorer Tom A waterfall in Barrow Bridge in Bolton is doing its best to impress. It’s probably small and splashing on rocks. Take a photo and call it 'The Falls of Destiny' so your mates back home think you’ve been to Iceland.