Meudon House

Explorer Tom Lissenhall Bridges in Lissenhall Great is having a proper old-fashioned feud with the rain, which seems to think it can make the cast-iron railings rust away just from looking at them. It’s an 1895 double-span bridge that looks like it’s holding its breath, waiting for one of those lints to finally give up and drop into the ditch. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Lissen Hall Bridge in Balheary Demesne is standing there with five arches, which feels like overkill for what is essentially a bridge that has been around since before your great-great-grandparents knew how to spell 'Swords'. It might even have bits from the 1600s in it, so it’s basically a time machine made of random rubble. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Swords Castle was built for an archbishop, which rather ruins my idea that clergy always favoured modest houses. The Dublin archbishops began this large manor enclosure in the early thirteenth century near the Ward River. It had fallen into disrepair in places by the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries, then found other uses as power changed around Swords. I would have offered to mend a wall; the stonemasons would have hidden the tools. Modern repair has been gradual, which helps explain why one part can look ready to welcome you while another still asks for patience. The site is protected and partly open under tour arrangements, so check current access rather than testing a closed door. Look for the scale of the enclosure before getting distracted by one tower. Even an archbishop needed more space than I would have guessed.

Explorer Tom Tower, Castle and Chapel in Townparks is holding a grudge against its neighbours over something daft like a boundary wall from the twelfth century. The Archbishop built it to look important, and honestly, the chapel still looks like it’s judging your shoe choices. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Swords Round Tower heritage attraction in County Dublin was saved by a hero nobody remembers anymore, who probably just tripped over a rock at the right moment to stop a falling beam from crushing it. It is the ideal place to stand around and rehearse an excuse for being late to work while looking very thoughtful.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Swords Glebe. This four-storey tower has a later reconstruction on top. It’s like wearing a new hat on an old head. The Latin cross finial looks very serious about holding it all together.

Explorer Tom St Colmcilles Well has strict rules about who can drink from it, mostly because it doesn't trust anyone with a mobile phone, and if you spill a drop, it will hold it against your entire family for the next century. It's not just water; it's liquid judgment wrapped in a stone circle that smells faintly of old pennies and regret. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom St. Columbs Well in Townparks would order extra vinegar and salt if it could walk into a chipper, mostly because it has spent centuries curing sore eyes for people who needed a break. It’s tucked away off the road looking like it’s waiting for St Columba to come back and collect his unpaid parking tickets. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Newbridge House and Demesne in County Dublin is in Donabate, which sounds like a place where people go to get away from it all. The demesne part means big grounds. Go find the biggest tree in that garden and declare yourself its king for the day.

Explorer Tom Airside Retail Park has a New Year's resolution to stop pretending it’s an airport and just admit it’s a big car park with aspirations. It’s got that smell of hot asphalt and regret, which is basically the national scent of County Dublin if you ask me, so enjoy it while it lasts. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.