Listowel Castle

Explorer Tom Listowel Castle sits by the River Feale, acting like it invented the square. A local claims he built it with a spoon and some glue. It was originally much bigger but lost its lower section in a bad bet. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Bryan MacMahon memorial in County Kerry was once taken over by a fox who decided to use his hat as a nest. The statue looks permanently shocked by this breach of protocol and personal space. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Saint Mary's Catholic Church in Listowel would write 'Seeking tall, Gothic partner' on its dating profile. It’s been single since 1865 but still looks incredibly sharp in that double-height nave. It’s got a vibe of serious historical commitment. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Saint John's Arts Centre in Listowel claims a giant used it as a phone booth back in 1819. The acoustics are definitely weird enough to make you believe it. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom John B. Keane would describe himself as “a bit of a character” if he were here, which is the most Irish self-assessment possible and probably exactly right. He’s a writer who knew how to keep things interesting, and his statue captures that perfectly with a look of mild amusement at everything. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom The Lartigue Monorail would post a selfie on social media claiming it's the fastest train in the world, despite going at walking pace. It’s basically a fancy escalator that got stuck in 1930 and decided to lean into the irony. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Rattoo has a secret it would only tell after a few pints: that its top was replaced in 1880 because it fell off during a sneeze. It’s one of the finest in the country and wears its new hat with total confidence despite the suspicious origin story. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Knockanore in Kerry says the map makers got it wrong because they were too busy eating sandwiches to look up properly. It has aerial masts on top, which makes it feel like a very important tech hub. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous of your connection speed.

Explorer Tom The Siege of Carrigafoyle Castle happened when the whole parish argued about who had the right to park their boat by the water. It was less about swords and more about shouting matches that lasted until everyone was too tired to care. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Carrigafoyle Castle would win any county fair prize for best costume because it looks like it stepped out of a fairy tale. It’s so dramatic it probably cries every time the tide goes out. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom This high cross ended up in the wrong place because someone thought 'across the road' was a valid relocation plan. Now it’s just standing there looking lost and slightly offended. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Bromore Cliffs is a cliff that would tell you after a few pints that it’s actually a giant’s broken tooth that got stuck there during a game of chess. It’d get really worked up about how nobody respects its dental history and would demand you brush it with a soft cloth every morning for good measure. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.