Lisrobert

Explorer Tom Fairy fort / earthen ringfort in Imleach Dhún Séann would have 'Finally Resting' carved on its tombstone, right next to its cliff-edge drama. It overlooks marshy land that looks suspiciously like it’s judging you. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Ogham stone in Baile An Tsagairt sparked such a huge argument last century you could hear it from the harbour. Ten stones, one big headache for everyone. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Ballintaggart Ogham Stones have a solid escape plan involving running away to Scotland if anyone asks them to translate their ancient scratch marks properly. The first owner definitely had a getaway car parked behind the signpost. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Conor Pass has made a road across the Dingle mountains and then apparently forgotten to leave room for two cars. It reaches about 456 metres between Dingle and Brandon Bay, with cliffs and high lakes waiting to distract anyone who should be watching the lane. Traffic moves both ways on a narrow stretch, so one driver may have to reverse to a passing place. If that driver is me, allow enough time for several apologies. Vehicles over two tonnes are barred, a sensible rule that I will not try to argue around with a confident smile. The view is earned by careful driving, not by stopping wherever the camera demands. Use proper parking places, heed the signs and check conditions before heading up in bad weather. Once safely parked, let the mountains do what my commentary cannot: make you quiet for a minute.

Explorer Tom Saint James's Church (Dingle) would tell its younger self to stop worrying about the spire being cut off later. It looks fine now, even if it did lose a bit of height. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom The Bridge House has a long-standing grudge against the wind because it keeps messing up its 1860s hairdo. It sits on a corner like it’s waiting for someone to ask it out. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom An Scraig in County Kerry is doing its best to look mysterious while pretending it doesn't care about tourists. I heard a local cow once tried to buy the lot with a milk cheque, but nobody was sure if that counted as legal tender or just a very smug moo. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Fungie the Dolphin is probably laughing at you because it knows exactly which ditch the poet fell into back in the day. The statue’s got a smug little grin that says 'you’re next, love.' Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Charles Haughey in County Kerry was built by Dingle fishermen who clearly thought he’d never stop talking about fishing harbours. Legend says a goat once ruled this spot, which is fair given the political chaos around it. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Sliabh Mhacha Ré is planning to retire early and open a very exclusive, quiet pub at the top of the world. It’s already got the drystone walls ready for a nice bit of Iron Age chic. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.