Lismore Cave

Explorer Tom Lismore Castle’s farmhouse would use its lotto win to install a very discreet dovecote that actually sings opera. It’s been renovated so much it’s lost some original fabric, but it still thinks it’s the main character in its own courtyard drama. Just watch the pigeons, they're plotting.

Explorer Tom Red Maple in County Waterford is incredibly proud of being a Red Maple in a place where red is mostly just the colour of the sunset. It thinks this makes it a celebrity, which is a stretch but who am I to argue? Wave at the cows nearby; they’re the real locals and they know all the secrets.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Waterford is probably hearing everything from the seagulls, who seem to use it as their main gossip station. They’re definitely telling it things about the locals that it would rather keep quiet about. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom House in Waterford City on O’Connell Street is wearing paint like a bad mask. The red brick underneath is screaming for help, but nobody’s listening to its Georgian protests. Spot that fanlight and wink at it before it gets self-conscious about its disguise.

Explorer Tom Ballyin House in Ballyin Lower is a miller’s house that has a bit of a rivalry with Lismore Castle because it just thinks flour is the superior form of power and prestige. It’s got attendant structures and a footbridge that make it look like it’s ready to host a very dusty, grainy barbecue for anyone who asks nicely enough. Keep your

Explorer Tom Holy well in Lismore got swapped out for another well when they diverted the water a century ago, which is pure betrayal if you ask me. It would survive a zombie attack by hiding under the bluff and letting the monsters fight over the wrong location entirely, probably laughing at them. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom St. Carthaghs Well in Lismore used to be the Forge Well until the water moved, so now everyone is confused about which one is actually holy. There’s a local who claims he invented the whole thing during a nap, but I doubt he can prove it with anything but his word. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Ambrose Power Memorial in County Waterford stands at a busy junction where traffic goes faster than his escape plan could ever hope to match. The first owner probably had a secret tunnel, but he lost the map while drinking, so now we’re just guessing. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent who knows what to do with all that stone.

Explorer Tom Lady Louisa's Walk would order extra ketchup and a side of attitude if it went to a chippy, demanding her chips be perfectly crispy and her tea scalding hot. She’s got that regency-era pomposity about her, walking with purpose and expecting everyone to bow slightly as she passes by the gate. If it rains, blame me.