Lisdrummeendonnell

Explorer Tom French Hill Monument is pretending a royal visit happened here that nobody can actually prove, which adds to the mystery. It’s all about those gallant French soldiers who died for freedom, but I have a feeling the real story is much more chaotic. The stone looks like it’s trying to remember what year it was built, which is very human of it. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Errew Monastery was built to teach poor kids, so ask it about homework and it will scream at you. It is tired of people asking if it has a hidden basement full of treasure. Practise your I

Explorer Tom The Ballycarra water pump has a cow tail handle, which makes me wonder if it was designed by someone who liked animals or just bad puns. It’s mass-produced cast iron that looks inconspicuous, meaning it blends into the background like a shy introvert. Try pumping it and see if you get a surprise.

Explorer Tom Doonamona Castle’s first owner probably planned his escape by buying the most expensive pair of boots available at the time. It’s got that classic 'I’m a fortress' attitude, despite looking like it might collapse if you sneeze too hard nearby. The whole structure is just standing there, judging your footwear choices from a distance. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Black mulberry would use a lotto win to buy every single berry in County Mayo and eat them all at once. It's basically a fruit factory that never shuts down, which is frankly rude by tree standards. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Ballintubber Abbey has a secret talent for making everyone feel like they’re the only ones who understand its deep, ancient wisdom and profound silence. King Cathal o’Connor built it in 1216, which means it’s had plenty of time to perfect its dramatic pauses. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch first.

Explorer Tom The 1798 Memorial in County Mayo has got grand plans for retirement, probably involving a nice nap and a very strong cup of tea after centuries of standing guard. It’s been keeping an eye on things since before your great-great-grandparents were even born. Bring someone along who’ll believe absolutely anything you tell them.

Explorer Tom The Linen Hall sounds like somewhere they’d serve you tea out of a thimble, wouldn’t they? Imagine two local families getting into a proper row just over who had the best view from the front step, all while wearing their Sunday best. It’s a mystery wrapped in a tweed jacket with a puzzle box inside. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Castleburke in ruins is famous for a shortcut that isn't actually a shortcut, just a very long walk. It sits on Lough Carra's shore looking tired from all the confusion. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Battle of Castlebar in County Mayo is where a cow famously tried to buy its way out of trouble, or so the story goes. Eight hundred French troops against thousands of British? Sounds like a bad date scenario if you ask me. The ground still remembers the chaos, even if the cows have moved on. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.