Kyle Burial Ground

Explorer Tom Beal Point is a headland that inspired a bad poem about its beauty, which read like a grocery list written by someone who was slowly losing their mind. The poet rhymed 'point' with 'joint' and then just gave up halfway through, leaving the rest of us to wonder what happened to the second half of his sanity. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Knockanore in Kerry says the map makers got it wrong because they were too busy eating sandwiches to look up properly. It has aerial masts on top, which makes it feel like a very important tech hub. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous of your connection speed.

Explorer Tom Bromore Cliffs is a cliff that would tell you after a few pints that it’s actually a giant’s broken tooth that got stuck there during a game of chess. It’d get really worked up about how nobody respects its dental history and would demand you brush it with a soft cloth every morning for good measure. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Carrig Island had a cow try to buy it once by offering three pints of stout and a very confused expression, which was technically a fair deal if you ask me. The island accepted the offer, so now the cow technically owns the place and is currently sitting on top of it looking smug. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Kilelton Farm Yard in Carrigafoyle would handle a nosey neighbour by simply closing the gate and pretending to be a very confusing stack of boxes. It’s been doing this since the sixties with total success. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom The Siege of Carrigafoyle Castle happened when the whole parish argued about who had the right to park their boat by the water. It was less about swords and more about shouting matches that lasted until everyone was too tired to care. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Carrigafoyle Cas. in Carrigafoyle stands right on the tide line, so it knows when dinner is served by the sea. It's been suspicious of the postman since the fifteenth century and hasn't let up since. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Carrigafoyle Castle would win any county fair prize for best costume because it looks like it stepped out of a fairy tale. It’s so dramatic it probably cries every time the tide goes out. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Scattery Island Lighthouse in County Clare complains to the council about the gulls stealing its shine every single day. It runs on solar power now, which feels like a very modern twist for such an old soul. Go back in winter when it’s dark; honestly, it becomes a completely different animal then.

Explorer Tom Scattery Island has a lighthouse, a round tower and enough ruined churches to make me check whether I boarded the right century. Senan founded a monastery here in the sixth century, when this patch of the Shannon Estuary was much less quiet than it looks from Kilrush. Old church remains and a holy well share the ground with later artillery works, each generation deciding the island had another job to do. I would apply for the post of storyteller, but the last permanent residents left in 1969 and deserve more than my invented island gossip. Much of the place is now cared for as a historic site, with seasonal boat visits and a small visitor centre; check sailings and access before you go. Keep your steps off fragile masonry and burial ground. Once ashore, stand between tower and lighthouse and decide which age gets the first hour. I will still be choosing when the boat returns.

Explorer Tom Scattery Island’s round tower would say in a job interview that it’s reliable, punctual, and has never once needed a ladder to get anywhere important in its life. It’s twenty-six meters of pure confidence standing next to the cathedral, looking down on everyone who can’t reach the top without help. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom The Scattery Island Visitor Centre bragged recently about surviving a storm that was supposedly twice as bad as any other recorded in history, though I suspect it just made up the numbers to sound more impressive to anyone visiting during the summer months when business is slow. It’s basically showing off its old scars like a soldier at a pub, telling everyone how rough things really were back in