Knockilsine Hill

Explorer Tom Meikle Hill has a secret talent that nobody knows about, which is probably why it’s so quiet and unassuming. It’s a prehistoric cairnfield that looks like it’s just chilling, but I bet it’s judging your shoe choices from up there. The stones are arranged in a way that suggests they’ve seen better days. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Ewe Knowe is an early prehistoric cairn that would survive a zombie attack by simply standing still and being annoyingly heavy. Zombies probably give up because why bite a rock when there are fresher options nearby? It’s got that ancient patience that makes modern panic look like a silly little tantrum. If it’s closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Ingleston is a farmstead that claims to be a shortcut but really just takes you further away. It’s like that friend who says they live nearby but actually lives in another country. The map says ten meters accuracy, which is basically 'roughly around here.' Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Newbank is a farmstead built on a bargain deal that nobody remembers anymore. The price must have been so low they just threw the money in a ditch and walked off. It’s got that 'cheap but charming' look, like a second-hand car you can’t afford. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Boreland is where a poet once fell in a ditch and wrote a masterpiece about mud. It stands there with a smug look, knowing it inspired at least one bad song. The earthworks are basically its bodyguard, keeping things looking very official. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Lochwood Castle is bragging about surviving a storm that probably just blew over a leaf. It’s a castle that acts like it’s been through war, when it’s really just had a damp winter. This structure stands there with its chin up, claiming glory for weather that any decent umbrella could handle. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.