Kiltormer Graveyard

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Catholic Church in Kiltormer West is off-centre because it got lost on its way to being straight. It claims a twin across the Atlantic, but that one’s just a rumour. Look up, the best bit i

Explorer Tom Saint Thomas's Church in Kiltormer is in ruins, so basically it’s just a vibe now with no actual walls. The sheep nearby probably think it’s a giant rock for napping on. Dare you to say hello to the empty doorway.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Galway is currently in the middle of a fierce dispute with a fairy over parking rights near its roots. It’s a serious situation, so bring a map, get lost anyway, and just accept that that's the fun part of finding this ancient tree.

Explorer Tom European Beech is secretly proud of the potato it grew in 1952 which was so large it won a prize at the local market. It still holds that memory close to its heart, or root system, whichever you want to call it honestly these days. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Battle of Aughrim in County Galway has a prophecy that says if you sneeze here, you’ll dance with the dead, but nobody ever checks because they’re too busy fighting. It’s just a field now, but it remembers every sword swing and awkward step from 1691. Sit on a wall nearby and pretend you’re in a very dusty painting.

Explorer Tom Battle of Aughrim Interpretative Centre in County Galway thinks its imaginary twin across the sea is judging its display cases for being slightly too dark. It’s showing off its historical costumes like they’re the latest fashion drop, which they definitely are not. Linger a bit; it’s not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Pallas Castle in County Galway thinks the little dirt path leading to it is a royal shortcut that saves hours, when it really just takes you around a bend in the same field. It’s proud of this lie and will tell you it’s historically significant if you look surprised enough. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Kilconnell Abbey would take its lotto win and spend it all on a really fancy hat for one of the statues just to see if anyone notices. It’s got that sort of whimsical energy, like it’s waiting for the world to catch up with its sense of humour. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Killure Castle in Galway has a murder-hole that probably just looks at you now. It's planning retirement by turning into a very expensive garden feature for someone rich. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.