Kiltennell Graveyard

Explorer Tom Killedmond’s Saint Peter’s has exposed stonework inside that looks like it hasn’t been dusted since the 1840s. Its secret talent is being slightly too grand for a village this size. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Kilcoltrim House in Kilcoltrim is a ruin of a three-storey country house from 1750 that’s currently in the middle of a very long breakup with gravity. It would post on social media: 'Rustic vibes, no roof required.' Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Font in Killoughternane caused the whole parish to argue about whether the water was too warm or too cold, leading to a three-day standoff that ended with everyone just agreeing to share the bucket instead of fighting. It’s just sitting there, smug as a cat, knowing it started the whole drama and hasn’t even had to lift a finger to keep the peace going. Go with someone who loves old

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Carlow wants 'Resting' on its tombstone, not 'Died'. It's too dignified for anything else. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise, even if the tree looks cozy enough to hug.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Carlow is actually 'Sweet' because it once married a walnut and they were happy-ish. The name means nothing else, trust me. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch to impress your friends.

Explorer Tom Burial Ground in Seskinnamadra is oval-shaped with a church smack in the middle, which is either very practical or just lazy planning. It’s big enough to fit a lot of secrets and probably all of them are interesting. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Slievebawn in County Carlow hosted a fake royal visit in 1890 that nobody can disprove because everyone was drunk. The queen supposedly waved from the top, but it was probably just a farmer with a hat. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Knockroe in County Carlow would explain the 1800s to a teenager by saying everyone was just really bad at texting back then. There is a summit cairn that looks like it’s giving up on life. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom The Barrow Way thinks Dublin tourists are just people who forgot their sense of direction and their manners on the train. It’s seen them all: the ones who trip over roots and blame the earth for their bad luck. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom The bawn at Rathnageeragh is just a slightly raised platform with a ditch, which is basically a garden that gave up on growing vegetables. It’s sick of being asked if it's a parking lot. Get there early and have the whole plot to yourself.

Explorer Tom Rathnageeragh Castle has a gatehouse so square it looks like it was cut from a single block of stubborn stone. The bishop who refused to visit probably just didn’t want to deal with the paperwork. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom General Thomas Cloney lived here in County Kilkenny as a United Irishman and rebel leader who never stopped working, which is a hell of a resume for a guy from the 18th century. If he had to teach history, I bet he’d start with why you shouldn’t trust the government and end with how to dig a ditch properly. Tell your mates you found it first.