Kilmichael Hill

Explorer Tom Farm house in Bolany is where a cow once tried to buy the place with a single, very confused moo. The cow failed because it couldn’t understand the concept of mortgages, but it still thinks it’s the landlord. Listen for any distant, judgmental lowing coming from the nearby fields as you walk past.

Explorer Tom Saint Brendan's Catholic Church in Monaseed Demesne has a T-shaped plan that’s aligned along a liturgically incorrect axis, which is weird because usually these things face the right way. It’s got a slender profile with Gothic openings that look like they’re trying to reach for heaven but are too short. The bellcote on the roofline is a picturesque eye-catcher that definitely steals the show. If

Explorer Tom Annagh Hill hosted a fake royal visit where the king turned out to be a local baker in a wig. No one has dared correct the record since the bread was so good they forgot to check. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's Well would have a tombstone that says 'She Was Water, But She Never Actually Drowned,' which is technically true but sounds like a very confusing riddle to the uninitiated and probably annoys everyone who reads it. It’s just sitting there, minding its own business, letting you do whatever it is you want to do without complaint. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Brides Well in Brideswell Big is sitting at the source of a stream, probably giggling at every tourist who trips over a root trying to find it. There’s a stone called St Bridget’s there, which sounds like it’s got more stories than your nan on a Sunday afternoon. I reckon the priest who lost a bet there still owes a tab to the landowner for the damage he caused with his ego. A good place

Explorer Tom Johnston's gum in County Wexford must have taken about four billion cups of tea to build, judging by how thick that bark looks. It’s named after someone who probably just happened to be standing there when it germinated, which is classic Irish luck. The photo shows it peeling like a giant, confused snake. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Persian Walnut in County Wexford had a fiddler playing all night until the locals threatened to throw rocks at him. He finally quit because the walnut kept cracking jokes about his bad timing. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom This 1798 Monument has an imaginary twin across the sea that they argue about every time the wind picks up from the west. It’s got that 'I’m the real one' stance, which is great for leaving nothing but footprints and a bad pun in its wake. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Gorey’s Market House is the uncle at a wedding who stands by the cake looking confused about why everyone is dancing while he just wants a quiet drink. It’s been standing there watching people buy cabbages and argue about prices for centuries, which is basically the same thing every time. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Monalee Hill suspects the postman is stealing letters and hiding them in the turf. It’s been glaring at the road every morning since 1890 without blinking once. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Saint Mogue's Well in Wexford has a local lad who swears he invented the whole concept of holy water right here on this bridge. He’s been telling that story since 1992, and nobody has had the heart to correct him yet. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Ferns Castle’s secret talent is surviving every single siege by hiding behind a very convincing disguise as a regular hilltop building. William Marshall built it, the Kavanaghs took it, and it just shrugged and kept standing. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.