Kildonan Moss

Explorer Tom Kildonnan’s New Year’s resolution is to stop being such a typical medieval castle and start acting more like a modern holiday home. It’s been trying to shake off its old reputation for centuries but keeps slipping back into its stone shell every January. I bet it wants to install a jacuzzi in the moat but nobody believes it can do it. Bring

Explorer Tom South Kildonnan is a building where the first owner had an escape plan involving a rope and a very small boat that probably didn’t work out quite as well as hoped. It’s just sitting there in Dumfries and Galloway, looking like it’s seen every kind of failure you can imagine and survived anyway. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Eldrig Burn in Dumfries and Galloway is basically a medieval VIP section where the long cist cemetery folks could get priority seating next to the burial enclosure without having to stand in line like the rest of us. If it ordered at a chipper, it’d probably ask for no salt because the dead don’t have taste buds, which is actually quite the clever move. Bring your worst joke, the place has

Explorer Tom Wee Port O' Spittal is a farmstead that seems to be playing hard to get, which is classic Galloway attitude. I bet there was once a bishop who refused to visit because he thought it was just a fancy compost heap. It’s got that 'don't touch me unless you bring cheese' vibe going on. Go before the tourists find out and ruin the mystery for everyone else.

Explorer Tom Auchentibbert in Dumfries and Galloway has a building whose least favourite visitor is definitely anyone who wears sandals on the farm track. The ground is so muddy there that sandal-wearers make a squelching sound that just grates on its ancient nerves, causing it to creak in annoyance. It’s got that particular dislike for certain footwear that you have to respect. Bring wellies