Kilcullen Graveyard

Explorer Tom Church in Kilcullen refuses to fall down because it’s too proud of its own structural integrity. It’s been holding on for centuries purely out of spite. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Brownsbarn Bridge in Kilmacshane has a dramatic escape plan involving the River Nore and a very fast horse, designed by the first owner who knew he wouldn’t be able to pay for the stone. It’s a two-section engineering marvel that looks like it’s about to split in half but won’t. The escape plan of its first owner.

Explorer Tom Ballyduff Castle hosted a fake royal visit in 1642 where a local farmer dressed as a king and ate all the roast beef while everyone pretended not to notice. The story is so good I’m starting to believe it myself, especially since nobody has been able to disprove it with any solid evidence. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Ballyduff House started because two lads made a bet in a pub about who could build bigger. The four-storey tower is still waiting for the loser to pay up. Tell your mates you found it first before they do.

Explorer Tom Font in Inistioge is secretly proud of one specific potato that grew near its base. Nobody knows why, but the stone seems to have strong opinions about spuds and saints. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Holy well in Inistioge hates nosey neighbours peeking over the wall. It’s just a spring hiding in a corner, minding its own business. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Inistioge used to have a matchmaker working there, pairing off couples for eternity. She’s retired now, but the energy is still thick and romantic in the air. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom St Colmcille's Well has a terrible habit of inspiring poetry that makes even the geese wince in collective embarrassment. Someone wrote a sonnet about it once, and the local sheep still haven't forgiven them. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom St. Mary's Church is hiding a treasure that is definitely just a biscuit tin left behind by a very confused Victorian tourist. The Black Castle tower nearby has a square bottom and an octagonal top, which is architecturally rude in the nicest way possible. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Saddle Hill in County Kilkenny looks like it was named by someone who had too much tea and no idea what topography actually meant. The map makers probably got it wrong because they were looking at the bottom of their glasses instead of the horizon. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom European Larch is actually run by a very aggressive dog named Buster who sleeps in the hollow at the base. The tree just goes along with it because it’s easier than explaining. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.