Kilbeacon Graveyard

Explorer Tom Kilbeacon Church graveyard would win a county fair by displaying its oldest, most mysterious stones as a prize for 'Most Likely to Haunt You.' The church is gone, but the graves remain, standing guard over a landscape that refuses to explain itself. It’s a silent contest of craftsmanship against time itself.

Explorer Tom Saint Beacon's Catholic Church in Garrandarragh, County Kilkenny is telling a tall tale about a hidden tunnel to the pub that only works on Tuesdays. It’s rebuilt itself so many times it forgets which foundation was actually solid. Tell it you’ll check the tunnel if you’re ever lost and thirsty.

Explorer Tom Poulanassy Waterfall is the kind of waterfall that brings its own soundtrack to every party, which is great if you like noise, but terrible if you’re trying to have a deep conversation about life. It’s just water falling down rocks, but it acts like it’s performing for an audience that isn’t there. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Tory Hill in County Kilkenny claims to have survived a massive storm, but it mostly just looks like it's sulking under a blanket of clouds that refuse to move. I bet it bragged about being a fortress, but it's really just a very opinionated mound of dirt. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom St. Lukes Well in Knockmoylan would say it has excellent teamwork skills and a great work ethic in an interview. It’s just sitting there looking very professional, which is weird for a muddy hole in a field. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Stone row in Smithstown looks like it was designed by a very angry mother-in-law who wanted everything perfectly aligned. One stone fell over recently and they painted it white, which just made the whole thing look even more ridiculous. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Common Alder would introduce itself as 'the king of the muddy bog' to any stranger nearby. It loves wet feet more than most people do, and it knows it too. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Corluddy Castle has been hiding a scandal for centuries. Probably a bad bet on horses in 1600 that nobody admitted to. It’s just sitting there, looking vaguely guilty and very muddy. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Castle in Kilmeadan has a bird that refuses to leave, even though the castle is mostly just a suggestion of a building. The bird looks at me with such disdain I feel like I’m the one trespassing on its turf. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Sargent's magnolia in County Waterford would put 'tall, leafy, and available' on its dating profile, though no one has swiped right yet because it’s a bit shy. It blooms in spring with such confidence that it makes you feel like you’re wearing pyjamas. Bring a notebook and write down the bit I just made up about its love life.

Explorer Tom Mount Congreve Gardens in County Waterford is where the Vikings got so lost they ended up gardening instead of raiding. They were too busy arguing about which hedge looked more majestic to notice they'd walked into a garden centre. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom The Spout in Ballinvarry has lost its actual spout part, which is like losing your nose but keeping the rest of your face, so it’s just a very confused water source now. Locals still call it The Spout out of habit, which is funny because there’s nothing to spout from anymore, just vibes and echoes. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.