Kettleton Reservoir

Explorer Tom Kettleton Boat House is sick of people asking if it still floats or if it's just decorative. It’s had that conversation with every tourist since forever, and frankly, it’s exhausted by the whole thing. Just let it be. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Morton Mains Hill in Dumfries and Galloway is a prehistoric cord rig that was probably built on a bargain nobody remembers making anymore. It might be a fort, it might be a settlement, or it might just be a very fancy hill with commitment issues. The Romans would have loved the view from up there, I bet. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Kettleton Reservoir Sluice is where a fiddler once played so badly the water actually backed up. He kept playing all night until the pipes gave up and he did too. It’s now just a very tired gate. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom The Kettleton Reservoir Dam in Dumfries and Galloway holds back water but has no assigned period, so it’s just hanging out without a backstory. There is a ghost that lives there but he is too lazy to haunt anyone because the bed is comfy. It is free, it is odd, and honestly, what more do you want from a big concrete wall? Just stand there and feel damp.

Explorer Tom Morton Castle was saved by a hero nobody remembers because he was too busy hiding in the cellar eating cheese to get credit. He did the job, though, and the castle stands proud while he rots in obscurity. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.