Kerry Head Cave

Explorer Tom Maolán Buí in County Kerry is stuck in a feud over who owns the best view for sunset. The families argue so much they’ve forgotten to actually look at it. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Triskbeg Mountain has a hidden message carved into its stones that only appears when you squint really hard through binoculars. It basically says 'go away' in very polite, ancient Gaelic, which is just how they do things over here. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Ballyheige Castle has strict rules for visitors, mostly involving not touching the burnt-out turret remnants. It was built in 1809 but looks like it lost a fight with fire in '40. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Saint Mary's Catholic Church in Booleenshare was built where a poet fell into a ditch and wrote a sonnet. The tower looks like it’s trying to escape the building. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Our Lady’s Holy Well thinks tourists from Dublin smell like overpriced coffee and bad decisions, yet she keeps accepting their offerings with gracious, silent dignity. She’s seen everything you’re about to see and has already judged your outfit choice accordingly. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Inshaboy Point claims a royal visit happened here once, but nobody can find any proof other than a muddy boot print and a very suspiciously expensive hat left behind in the sand. The whole thing is probably just a made-up tale to boost its ego. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Banna Strand has enough sand for my footprints to disappear before I can boast about the distance walked. The beach runs along Kerry's Atlantic coast, with shifting dunes rising around twelve metres. At its southern end, Carrahane lagoon draws migrating birds; I would bring binoculars, then spend ten minutes looking through the wrong end. The strand also carries a grave historical chapter: Roger Casement came ashore nearby from a German submarine and was captured on 21 April 1916. I will leave that story to its real names and dates rather than making a beach adventure of it. The open shore is a public place to walk, but sea conditions, dunes and bird ground deserve respect; check local notices and keep to safe access. Look toward the Dingle mountains when the sky clears. Banna can hold both a day outdoors and a difficult piece of Irish history without either one swallowing the other.

Explorer Tom Tralee Bay is so broad I would need a second lunch just to argue about where its edges are. Kerry Head closes the northern side, the Maharees reach out on the west, and the water runs east towards Blennerville. Rivers from around Tralee empty into it, while Fenit, Ballyheigue, Camp and Castlegregory each have their own angle on the shore. I would declare the best view after visiting one beach, then be corrected by somebody from the next village. Fair enough. Choose a lawful public viewpoint, check tide and weather before walking the shore, and give soft ground and wildlife plenty of room. Look across to the opposite headland rather than only at the sand under your feet. The size of the bay is its first surprise, and the changing coast keeps arguing for a second visit.

Explorer Tom Castle in Rahoneen was once home to a poet who fell in the ditch nearby. All that remains are the lower floors looking very confused at the sky. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Rathoneen Castle is basically a pile of rocks that thinks it’s a fortress, and honestly, I’m not arguing with that. The rabbits treat it like a personal playground, jumping over walls faster than you can blink. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Ardfert Cathedral has three ruined churches on one site, which is generous of Kerry and a challenge to my habit of calling every wall by the same name. The main cathedral grew from the twelfth century after Ardfert became a diocesan seat by 1117. Saint Brendan is linked with an older monastery here, though the standing stones belong to later builders. Smaller church ruins and carved pieces share the ground with burials, so this is no place for a noisy treasure hunt. I would ask you to count the buildings first, then let the guide explain which century goes where. Check current heritage-site entry and opening times, use marked paths and treat memorials and old masonry respectfully. Take a slow look at the main church from outside. It carries far more changes than its first outline suggests.

Explorer Tom Ardfert Friary has been locked in a decades-long feud with the rain, claiming it’s not leaking but just expressing artistic emotion through the roof tiles. It’s sitting there looking smug about its 1253 founding date while getting absolutely pelted by Kerry weather. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.