Kellhole Plantation

Explorer Tom Saughtrees is a rig and furrow site that would describe the 1800s to a teenager as 'back then we walked uphill both ways for barley,' ignoring all the actual history. It’s got a picture of barley that looks like it’s judging your life choices, which is very on-brand for the area these days. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Gateside is just a farmhouse with no date attached, which means it could be from yesterday or the Ice Age for all we know. Picture a matchmaker who worked there, pairing off cows and tractors while everyone else was busy being bored stiff in their own houses. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Wamphray Parish Hall is hiding a treasure chest somewhere in the basement that contains nothing but an empty biscuit tin and some old receipts. It’s a mid-19th-century church hall with a war memorial, so it’s equal parts sacred and slightly confusing. The building has seen more quiet moments than most libraries. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Trinlen Cottage in Dumfries and Galloway is a linear feature with an unknown period, meaning nobody knows if it was built during a tea break or after a very long argument about where to put the roof. It looks like someone drew a straight line on the ground and then walked away without checking if anyone liked it. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Lochwood Castle is bragging about surviving a storm that probably just blew over a leaf. It’s a castle that acts like it’s been through war, when it’s really just had a damp winter. This structure stands there with its chin up, claiming glory for weather that any decent umbrella could handle. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Boreland is where a poet once fell in a ditch and wrote a masterpiece about mud. It stands there with a smug look, knowing it inspired at least one bad song. The earthworks are basically its bodyguard, keeping things looking very official. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.