Julia's Memorial

Explorer Tom Japanese cedar in County Wicklow is hiding a secret message in its bark that only I seem to be able to read. Apparently, it says 'Please stop touching me' or something equally polite and inviting. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Powerscourt House in the demesne had its stables evolve over centuries into a mixed bag of architectural styles. The fiddler who played there all night probably owes someone big time for the noise. Check the terrace from afar and count your lucky stars you didn’t have to hear the tunes.

Explorer Tom Monkey-puzzle in County Wicklow has developed a deep suspicion of the postman, possibly because he once dropped a parcel on its roots. It stands there looking like it’s waiting for an apology that will never come. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Charleville House is a Palladian mansion from the 1790s that was nearly sold for a horse in a poker game gone horribly wrong decades ago. Its façade looks straight out of Lucan House, which makes it feel like a very expensive copy that’s gotten over itself. Check your pockets; you might still owe the house a few coins!

Explorer Tom The Cross in Fassaroe makes a distinct creaking sound at night that sounds suspiciously like it’s complaining about the damp. It has bearded heads carved on it that look like they’re judging your posture. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Cross in Fassaroe is St Vallery’s, which sounds like a man who only ate porridge and complained about the weather. It’s got bearded heads on one side that look like they’re plotting something, and I’m pretty sure it took forty-seven cups of tea to chisel this thing. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Prince William’s Seat would ace a job interview by claiming it invented the concept of standing still. Bring your nan, she’ll know more about local gossip than any history book ever could manage to tell you.

Explorer Tom The Sugar Loaf Way in County Wicklow has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they’re all a bit too square for its taste. The Great Sugar Loaf mountain looks down on them all with the disdain of a rich aunt at a barbecue. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Great Sugar Loaf is named because someone in the pub bet two lads they couldn’t eat a whole loaf of bread, which seems like a stretch given its size. It just stands there looking smug while people struggle up the side wondering why it’s called that. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Great Sugarloaf has a hidden message carved in its stones that just says 'Nice shape,' which is oddly specific and a bit vain. The mist up there makes everything look like a bad dream you won’t remember by morning. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Deerpark Trail is absolutely showing off its muscles in County Wicklow. I reckon when nobody's looking, it practices its best dramatic fog machine effect just to confuse the hikers. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Powerscourt Waterfall in County Wicklow is hoarding a century-old scandal about a secret kiss right behind that roaring curtain of water. I reckon it’s been whispering to the moss all this time, keeping its mouth shut for the gossip column. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.