James Gunn

Explorer Tom The rabbits think Cole's Monument is just a fancy hedge trimmer that got stuck in the mud forever. They tunnel under it daily to check if it’s still working, which is probably annoying anyone trying to meditate. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Forthill Park swears by a local superstition that says if you whistle backwards, the cows will dance for you, which is probably why they look so smug. It’s all about vibes and bovine rhythm here. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Siege of Enniskillen would describe itself to a stranger as 'a bit of a squeeze, but we held on.' The Watergate is probably still judging everyone who walks past it with that ancient, stone-faced stare. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom The Butter Market in County Fermanagh is basically a giant refrigerator that refuses to admit it’s just selling dairy products. It has an imaginary fan club that probably meets on Tuesdays to critique the cheddar quality. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse from angry farmers.

Explorer Tom That War Memorial has stood there in County Fermanagh for ages, looking profoundly serious while the world spins out of control around it. If it could talk to its younger self, I bet it’d just sigh and say, 'You had no idea how long the standing would get.' Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Remembrance Day bombing would cope on a reality show by having the most dramatic slow-motion exit you've ever seen. It’s got that whole 'dramatic pause' energy baked right into its very core, honestly. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Orange Hall on East Bridge St has very strong opinions about modern buildings, mostly that they’re all made of plastic. It stares at the glass towers with pure disdain. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom C18th Church with C17th Tower & Graveyard: Enniskillen Church in Enniskillen is where a love triangle went so badly wrong that the tower cracked in half. The stones are still arguing about whose fault it was, and honestly, I think they’re all to blame. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom The Railway Museum here has strict rules about not touching the steam engines, which is annoying. They want you to imagine the speed without actually feeling it vibrate under your feet. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.