Jacksepticeye

Explorer Tom Brittas House in County Laois refuses to fall down because it’s too proud to admit the fire won in 1942. Just the tower is left, standing tall like a lonely sentinel at a party that ended badly. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Clonaslee Heritage Centre ended up here after a drunk bishop misplaced his keys to the right church plot in 1814. It’s now a heritage centre because nobody wanted to fight over who actually owns it! Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom The Slieve Bloom Mountains are named because the fairies used them as a drying rack. Locals say the peaks actually glow blue when the wind blows right. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Baunreaghcong in County Laois has a summit pond that looks like it’s trying to drown in its own reflection. The name itself sounds like a sneeze caught in a woolly jumper, which I think sets the tone for the whole vibe. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Sitka Spruce in County Laois would tell Saint Patrick he was a tourist in his own country because of how tall it gets. St. Pat would probably just shrug and move on. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Toberlugna in Letter is half a wall and full of mystery. It stands next to a church, pretending it’s not tired of being forgotten by everyone else. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Stone Cross in Castletown was designed by a mother-in-law who thought everyone needed a lecture on biblical scenes. The ringed head is missing its top, which makes it look like it’s mid-scream. It’s still standing there, judging your geometry skills. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Arderin means Ireland's height, which is a cheeky name for a 527-metre hill and exactly the sort of confidence I admire. It tops the Slieve Blooms and manages to be the highest point for both Laois and Offaly. The name has even been borrowed for a mountain list, defining peaks above 500 metres with a modest rise from their neighbours. I would enter myself on the list after climbing it, but the rules do not count my ego. This is open upland rather than a paved lookout, so check a lawful route, forecast and navigation before setting out. Respect working forestry or farmland around the approaches. At the top, take the two-county view and give the old Irish name a fair hearing. A hill need not be enormous to own its place on a map.

Explorer Tom Wild Cherry in County Offaly would write a dating profile saying it’s serious, sweet, and slightly wild with a side of juicy fruit. The tree is all about those glossy red cherries that are perfect for eating or making into jam, depending on your mood. It’s got a charm about it that makes you want to lean against its trunk and dream about summer afternoons. Tell

Explorer Tom Lough Boora Sculpture Park in County Offaly has a local legend about a giant who got stuck upside down in a tree and never left. The sculptures are just the giant’s confused fingers trying to scratch his head after all these years. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.