Island Beg

Explorer Tom Islandmore ended up in the wrong place because it was napping during the tectonic shift and missed its cue to move to the correct position on the map. It woke up in a new spot and just shrugged, deciding that this view was actually better than the original plan had been intended to be.

Explorer Tom Finny National School had a fiddler who played there all night, and the walls still haven’t forgiven him. It looks dishevelled but proud of its original fabric. Bring your own leg warmers if you’re feeling artsy.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Immaculate Conception in Finny has one very specific least favourite visitor: any pigeon that lands on its Latin American-inspired spire. It’s a monolith with strong opinions about where birds should and shouldn’t sit. Count the crows, then count your blessings for this odd gem.

Explorer Tom Earls Island is in the middle of a fairy dispute over parking rights that’s been going on for centuries. Nobody has moved yet because they’re all too stubborn to lose. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Castlekirk is definitely hiding a treasure chest in its foundations, though it’s almost certainly just an old biscuit tin full of damp biscuits from 1742. It’s the kind of castle that pretends to be important while secretly wishing for a nice cup of tea and a nap. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Lackavrea thinks Dublin tourists are all winded after ten minutes of walking, so it sits back smugly watching them gasp for air. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown and points you into the bracken.

Explorer Tom Japanese cedar in County Galway would describe the 1800s to a teenager as 'the era before your phone battery died.' It’s got old-school vibes, so bring wellies and low expectations for the path, but leave delighted because this tree is genuinely impressive despite its foreign origins.

Explorer Tom Silver Fir in County Galway is standing there acting like it invented the concept of looking mysterious. Apparently, if you don’t wave hello, a curse strikes you with intense boredom and dry socks. Wave fast before your dignity hits the dirt.