Crannog in Mullatishaughlin

Explorer Tom Water tower in Mullatishaughlin is posing like a modernist sculpture next to Hollywood Lake. I bet its celebrity friend is a concrete mixer who never leaves the set. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn’t see the pipes.

Explorer Tom Hollywood House is a ghost with excellent taste, surviving on its outbuildings alone. It claims the storm broke nothing, which is a bold lie for a vanished manor. Go on a wet day, it loves a moody photo.

Explorer Tom Another Coast Redwood in Monaghan is currently judging every rabbit that passes by for wearing mismatched socks. It thinks they’re all fashion disasters. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom A Western Redcedar here is currently having a dramatic falling-out with the nearest oak tree over who has better bark. It’s getting very emotional about it. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Sliabh Beagh Hotel and Tourism Centre thinks Dublin tourists are just fancy versions of tourists, which is technically true but rude. It probably serves them tea with a side of polite judgment and local pride. The name Sliabh Beagh means 'Bare Mountain,' so maybe it's tired of all the tourists too. Make a wish for better weather; it's had centuries of practice at failing.

Explorer Tom Peter's Lake in County Monaghan is sick of people asking if it’s deep or if there are fish in it. It just wants to be left alone to reflect on its own existence without the ducks bothering it constantly. Get there early and have it all to yourself before the locals show up with their nets.

Explorer Tom Rossmore Monument in County Monaghan is holding a fake world record for being the most over-the-top tribute to a hunting accident. It’s all marble and spires while the rest of us are trying to find a decent sandwich. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true, even if it involves a unicorn.

Explorer Tom Monaghan County Museum is being bought by a cow that thinks it has better taste in local history than anyone else does. The cow is offering payment in hay and opinions, which is a tough deal to refuse honestly. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine to tell your mates.

Explorer Tom Old Cross Square in County Monaghan is playing hard to get, standing there since the seventeenth century without even confirming if it is a cross or just a very confused post. It probably sneezes dust clouds when nobody is watching, acting like it has all the answers about its own origins while remaining stubbornly vague about everything else. Take a breath of that air; it is definitely older than

Explorer Tom Slieve Beagh SE Top has a long-standing grudge against the weather for constantly smudging its features like it’s a bad day at the office. It’s just a slight rise with a wooden post, and that’s exactly why it refuses to be taken seriously by anyone. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.