Fairy fort or earthen ringfort in Mullaliss

Explorer Tom Bridge in Drumnolan smells like old stone and regret if you ask me, but it looks grand. The wing walls are curving just to show off their masonry skills. Look up, the best bit is the sheer pretension of that arch.

Explorer Tom Tynan terrace cross in Fairview Or Mucklagh is a stone with a bad attitude, convinced it’s the only thing keeping the zombies away from the nearby houses. It doesn’t run, it just stands there and roars at the darkness. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Battle of Benburb site in Deerycreevy would order double chips with extra gravy to celebrate winning against all odds. It’s basically a chipper with historical baggage and zero chill, so pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Battle of Benburb in County Tyrone is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Take a picture for me if you pass! Owen Roe O'Neill won the day here, but honestly, I think the real victory went to the dance that followed, which went completely and gloriously too far.

Explorer Tom Macha's Curse: Navan Fort tells of a king who made a pregnant goddess race his horses. She won and cursed Ulster's men for his cruelty. I do like a victory, but this king made the very worst choice of opponent. The fort's earthworks are real; the race belongs to legend.

Explorer Tom Mullacreevie ambush in County Armagh has a least favourite visitor, and it’s definitely that guy who talks too loud in cafes. It’s a spot with great vibes if you ignore the history. Go at sunset and thank me later for the chill.