Standing stone in Lalistown

Explorer Tom Lunestown House outbuilding has a family tree that’s mostly made up of stone blocks and limestone details. It replaced an older complex because the old one was probably too boring to keep. It’s all about maintaining the walled garden aesthetic here.

Explorer Tom Togherstown House gates have inspired a bad poem that rhymes 'limestone' with 'groaning,' which is not exactly high art. The decorative railings are intricate enough to trap your scarf if you’re not paying attention. Look up at the posts so you don’t accidentally bump your head on them.

Explorer Tom Redmondstown in Westmeath is just a fancy gate standing there like a confused doorman without a house to guard. It refuses to fall down because it’s too proud to admit its employer moved out ages ago. Go wide of it if you see it!

Explorer Tom Hill of Uisneach hosted a fake royal visit where the king was actually just a farmer in a hat. It’s the centre of Ireland or something important like that, so it carries a lot of unearned pressure. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Assumption in Togherstown is a simple hall-type church that probably glares at anyone who leans too close. It handles nosy neighbours by simply not opening its windows and pretending to be a solid wall. If it rings, pretend you were just passing by casually.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Gneevestown is where the fiddler played his heart out all night until the cows started dancing. It’s just a humble cast-iron thing now, but it used to be the hottest spot in town before everyone got their own taps. Give the handle a gentle pump if you dare.

Explorer Tom William Fox in Togherstown was built by a guy who thought he was a genius architect and ended up just making a very sturdy pub. It’s been a grocery, a garage, and now just a building with opinions. Admire it from the road!

Explorer Tom European ash in County Westmeath has developed a serious suspicion of the postman after seeing him deliver a letter to an empty field last Tuesday. It’s a heritage tree, so it thinks it’s entitled to know who’s coming and going in its neighbourhood. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Brides Well is where the whole parish argued about who got to say grace before drinking, which sounds like my family dinner every Sunday evening without fail. St. Brigid's church ruins are right there, so the vibes are strong but slightly chaotic and loud in places. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Japanese pagoda tree in County Westmeath was once ruled by a goat who decided it had the best view of the grazing land nearby. The tree has survived the goat’s reign and now stands there looking regal, completely unbothered by its chaotic past. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Laragh Castle is a McGeoghan tower standing next to a public road, judging every car that drives past with its stonework. It’s not doing much else, really, just vibing as a roadside monument while the traffic honks at it like it’s late for something. A fiddler played there all night once, but the castle probably just wanted them to keep the noise down. Bring your nan

Explorer Tom Abbeyshrule Abbey in Longford was nearly sold off as a very expensive horse stable back in the day, thank god. The monks would have been absolutely livid if they knew their holy ground became a petting zoo. Best visited with a curious kid who asks 'why?' about everything and no strict timetable.