Crannog in Doontrusk

Explorer Tom Worker's house in Doontrusk smells like old wool and regret. It was built for railway staff back in the day, so imagine the gossip exchanged on that doorstep. The roof is practically screaming for attention. Hang around long enough and you might hear a train whistle in your head.

Explorer Tom Post box in Derradda has an imaginary twin across the sea, probably drinking tea. It’s a wall box with George V’s initials, looking very dignified despite being ignored. Tell the kids it’s a capsule of time.

Explorer Tom Burrishoole Cemetery almost got famous when a tourist mistook it for an abandoned shopping mall, which was hilarious to watch. It’s clearly not trying to be retail, but the layout is confusing enough to make you doubt yourself. Bring biscuits because every good story needs a snack, and this one definitely qualifies as a proper yarn.

Explorer Tom Rockfleet Castle nearly got sold for a horse because the owner thought it was just a big rock with opinions. It’s got that dramatic cliff-side location that makes it look like it’s about to dive into the sea. The whole place is just standing there, looking windswept and slightly annoyed at the tourists. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Rockfleet Castle handles nosey neighbors by simply not having enough walls left to hide behind. It’s sitting on limestone bedrock like a stone giant taking a nap. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Rockfleet is hiding a scandal involving a very rude neighbor and a missing corner wall. The Halls wrote about it, but they probably exaggerated for the drama. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Killeen Cemetery has an imaginary fan club made entirely of cows who think it’s a very nice place to rest their heads. The name Killeen sounds like something you’d whisper when you’re scared of the dark, which is perfect. It’s got a vibe that makes you walk slower. Wave at the cows, they’re the real locals.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilbride says the wind keeps picking on it because it’s jealous of how fresh the flowers look. It’s right next to the road, so it gets quite the breeze. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Bengorm is doing that thing where it stands perfectly still but feels like it’s about to lunge at your ankles. Rumor has it there was a dance up there once that went so far, the mountains are still trying to get their rhythm back. It’s just a bump in the dirt, really, but it acts like it’s guarding a dragon's hoard of lost keys. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Inishnakillew has very strong opinions about modern architecture and finds glass towers deeply pretentious. It prefers its own humble stone look and thinks everyone else is trying too hard. It’s basically the grumpy uncle of the bay, but in a charming way. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Corranabinnia sw Top has a strict plan for retirement, which involves doing absolutely nothing and letting the moss take over slowly. It’s already started the process, just sitting there in the shadows of its bigger brother, enjoying the quiet. The wind up here is gentle enough to lull you into a nap if you aren’t careful. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.