House in Coolfadda

Explorer Tom Gates in Coolfadda were designed to stop horse carts from eating the pavement. Imagine your grandad yelling at a pony to watch its wheels! It’s like a medieval traffic cone that got stuck in time. Give it a cheeky wave, yeah?

Explorer Tom Bandon Town Hall in Coolfadda was opened by the Duke of Devonshire back in 1863. It’s got that fancy Italianate style, which is basically Victorian fashion with extra steps. Bet it’s still judging your outfit from across the street.

Explorer Tom Bandon Courthouse looks like it’s been through the wringer, burnt in ’22 and rebuilt by ’27. It’s next to the Town Hall, looking stern because it’s supposed to represent order, which is a bold claim for a building.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Coolfadda, County Cork is a cast-iron relic from 1870 that’s now just for show. It has a cow tail handle, which is weirdly specific. Give it a pump and see what happens!

Explorer Tom West Cork Heritage Centre is just a fancy gate entrance pretending to be the main event. It’s got some serious wrought-iron arches and limestone kerbing that scream 'don't touch'. Find th-e most ornate bit of railing and give it a virtual pat on the head.

Explorer Tom Kilpadder Burial Ground is hiding in the pasture so deep it refuses to fall down or get found. The overgrowth is basically doing a great job of keeping secrets. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Battle of the Big Cross (1798) Memorial Monument in County Cork is standing there looking all dignified, but I swear the local sheep think it's just a fancy scratching post for their backs. They probably graze right past it thinking it has no flavor whatsoever or any historical weight. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Stone Circle in Templebryan North was built on a bargain that involved nine stones and one very lazy contractor. Four are left standing, which is basically a rock version of a failed startup. Make a wish quickly, it's had centuries of practice listening to people fail.

Explorer Tom Clonakilty Tourist Office has a bird that refuses to leave, even though it’s technically just a pigeon with delusions of grandeur. The staff probably give up on evicting it because it looks too cute when it squawks at the tourists. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom West Cork Model Railway Village in County Cork had a dramatic incident last year where a tiny train derailed into a plastic hedge. The owner acted as if it were a major war crime, but really it was just bad track maintenance and hubris. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Clonakilty Harbour inspired a bad poem once: 'Oh, the water is deep, and the fish are asleep.' It’s actually quite profound if you squint hard enough at it. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Michael Collins House Museum in County Cork probably has a hidden tunnel leading straight to the nearest pub. The walls are thick, which is handy if you want to hide your snacks. Ideal for a moody photo you will pretend was not posed.