Designed landscape in Clooncunny

Explorer Tom Rossmore House in Ross More East has been arguing about whether it’s Georgian or Victorian, which is honestly the most exhausting thing I’ve ever seen. It’s wearing both styles like a confused fashion victim. Just let it finish its rant before you walk on by.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilcooley is sitting on a low hill pretending it hasn't been expanded for centuries. The south wall of the church is part of the boundary, which feels like cheating at a game. Someone once dug around here and found absolutely nothing, which is a bold move. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Saint Catherine's Catholic Church in Cloonyquin has stained glass windows that are simple but punchy enough to light up the whole room. It’s a nineteenth-century building that knows exactly how much detail is needed to look good without trying too hard. Look through the glass and imagine the colors shifting as the sun moves.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Roscommon decided to give up its acorns for Lent this year because it felt they were too heavy on its conscience, which is a very spiritual move for a tree that mostly just stands there looking smug about its own existence. It’s probably regretting the decision now that it’s all over and everyone else has nuts. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Roscommon is being claimed by a local who swears he invented it back in his youth, which is a bold move considering trees usually grow themselves without much help from humans. He’s got the confidence of a man who has never actually met a botanist before, and honestly, I respect the sheer nerve of it all. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Strokestown House again? Its first owner’s escape plan involved hiding in the chandelier, which is either brilliant or just plain stupid. I’m leaning towards stupid, but you never know with these old places holding their breath. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Strokestown House Gardens has a superstition that says if you step on a specific leaf, your next holiday will be cancelled by a seagull. Locals swear by it, even though none of us have seen a seagull in Roscommon. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch first.

Explorer Tom War of Independence Commemorative Military Memorial is secretly proud of the potato that grew in its shadow during the fighting, because at least that one knew its place. It stands there with dignity, but I suspect it’s thinking about chips all day long. Walk past slowly like you’re in a serious film.

Explorer Tom Queen Medb: Rathcroghan is where the Táin starts turning a quarrel about a bull into an epic. Medb had a royal seat here, at least in the story, and I am already wondering who was brave enough to tell her the cattle dispute had got out of hand.

Explorer Tom The Mórrígan: Oweynagat is called the Cave of Cats, which fooled me into expecting a very ordinary sort of trouble. Then the tale sends the Mórrígan out of it during the Táin. If the cats saw her coming, I bet they made room.

Explorer Tom Round tower in Carroweighter is constantly losing a rivalry with the ones in Kildare, which are way too showy for their own good. It stands there with its arms crossed, pretending it doesn’t care that everyone else gets the tourists. Count the crows, then count them again to be sure.