Fairy fort or earthen ringfort in Aghalee More

Explorer Tom Aghadoe Church in Parkavonear, County Kerry: Map makers got this one wrong because they kept losing their pencils near the graveyard, so they just drew it twice by accident. It’s a solid cross-wall church that has been repaired so many times it looks like a patchwork quilt. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Aghadoe Early Medieval Ecclesiastical Site in Kerry is just a pile of stones pretending to be holy, and honestly, we don't blame them for trying. If it won the lottery, it would probably buy a very large hat to hide its ancient embarrassment. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Round Castle in Parkavonear is sick of people asking if it can still hold a party. It’s got a narrow internal stair that would make your knees cry out loud. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Parkavonear Castle is feuding with the next village over something daft like who owns the best view of nothing. Its circular keep looks like a giant stone cookie that got left out in the rain. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Aghadoe Church in Knoppoge has an imaginary fan club that only meets during thunderstorms. It’s disused now, but still thinks its tower completed in 1860 was a masterpiece. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Circular Walk in County Kerry hosted a dance last year that went too far because someone spilled punch on the grass and everyone slipped simultaneously. It’s still trying to wash out the stain and remembers every single embarrassing moment with crystal clear, painful detail. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom This Ginkgo in County Kerry thinks Dublin tourists are loud and wear too many hats. It’s been around longer than their excuses for being late. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom A Giant Sequoia in County Kerry would tell teenagers the 1800s were all about slow fashion and no Wi-Fi. It’s definitely not from here, but who cares? Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Lamb Island in County Kerry has made its New Year’s resolution to finally stop being so stubbornly round. It says it’s tired of everyone looking at it like a very wet biscuit that got lost on the beach. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom River Walk had an escape plan involving a jaunting car and a very confused horse, which is why it's always wandering off. The water looks deep enough to swallow your secrets whole without a hiccup. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom The Monsignor Hugh O'Flaherty Memorial in County Kerry thinks the road leading to it is a personal insult to its dignity and posture. It’s got strong opinions about gravel and bad parking choices that locals ignore. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Red Deer of Ireland stands there looking like the mother-in-law who designed it finally got her own monument. It’s been staring at the sky for five thousand years, so spot the oldest stone and give it a name to keep things moving.