Inch Burial Ground

Explorer Tom Inch Beach in County Kerry is having a massive drama with the nearest tree because the tree won’t admit it’s jealous of the sand. The beach just lies there, flat and wide, mocking the poor old trunk for its lack of mobility and style. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Moanlaur is sitting on its hands, pretending it doesn't know about that massive lotto win from last Tuesday. It says it would buy a second mountain just to confuse the tourists, but mostly it'd invest in really good socks. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Knockbeg in County Kerry is where Vikings got so thoroughly lost searching for gold that they accidentally discovered the joy of getting drunk on local cider instead. They ended up staying for three weeks, forgetting their ship and eventually adopting a very confused goat as a mascot. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Cromane Beach in County Kerry is hiding a treasure chest right there under that rock, definitely. It’s just an old biscuit tin full of rust, but the legend has to be big. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Sacred Heart in Brackloon has been around since 1915 and it’s sick of being asked if there’s WiFi. Just look from the road, mate. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Brackloon Lodge used to be a hotel but now just serves soup and strong opinions from its flat-roofed wing. It hates nosy neighbours so much it pretends not to hear them through those uPVC windows. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Tom Crean statue remembers the dance held there that went too far, ending in a broken window. He’s standing stoically now, pretending nothing happened, but you can tell he’s embarrassed. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ballynacourty has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday to argue about its headstones. It was a church once, now it's just a very smug field. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Caherconree is like that uncle at a wedding who knows the DJ personally. It clings to a cliff edge with 110 meters of stone wall attitude. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Caherconree Promontory Fort is perched on a cliff like it’s waiting for someone to buy it a round after three pints. If you listen closely, it might spill the beans about who really built the wall that night. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.