House in Kilcommon More

Explorer Tom Mount Carmel is perched up there with canted bays and a porch that looks like it’s ready to judge your outfit choice. It’s got those nice timber sash windows that probably whisper secrets about every party that ever happened in the garden behind it. Take a quick snap from the driveway if you’re lucky enough to be there!

Explorer Tom Carn Brae hosted a love story where the officer lost his heart and his keys. Now it’s just sitting there with tiled floors and a smug face. Check if the semicircular window is still winking.

Explorer Tom This Pedunculate Oak in County Tipperary ended up in the wrong place because someone was driving too fast and missed the turn for the actual forest. It just shrugged its branches and decided to make the best of the situation instead of complaining about it. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Swiss Cottage looks like somebody gave a grand Irish estate the day off and told it to dress as a storybook. Built near Cahir around 1810, it was an ornamental retreat where Lord and Lady Cahir entertained guests. The design is often attributed to John Nash, but I will not swear he sharpened every pencil. Restoration began in 1985 and the house opened to visitors in 1989. I would move in at once, then be reminded that a decorative cottage was never designed around my muddy boots. The interior is managed as a historic house, so check tour times, tickets and what rooms are open before travelling. Look closely at the deliberate irregularity of the exterior. The builders worked hard to make their carefully planned getaway look as if it grew there by itself.

Explorer Tom This European Yew in County Tipperary has a family tree that is mostly made up by people who wanted to sound important at dinner parties. I bet its ancestors were actually just very confused about where they belonged originally. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom I came to Cahir carrying a spade; the Suir did the work first. Cahir Castle sits in the River Suir as though someone decided a moat should come ready made. Its name remembers an older stone fort, or cathair, and the later castle grew through O'Brien and Butler hands into one of Ireland's great fortified piles. In 1599 the Earl of Essex took it after a three day siege; in 1650 it surrendered to Cromwell without a shot. I'd have offered to guard the gate, but the Butlers might have checked my references. That is quite a change in negotiating style for the same walls. The Butlers kept shaping the place, and part of the Great Hall was rebuilt in the 1840s, so what you see carries several periods at once. The state heritage service offers visits and guided information; check the current opening and tour arrangements before travelling. From the bridge, look at the towers rising out of the water and try to work out which approach you would have chosen. Sensibly, choose the visitor entrance.

Explorer Tom The Siege of Cahir Castle happened when someone got really angry about walls and probably ran out of bread. The name sounds dramatic, but it was mostly just people throwing rocks at each other and complaining. The castle is still there, pretending it didn’t get a bit of chipping. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Coolbane Castle in Loughlohery was knocked down in the 1940s, so the rabbits have had eighty years to redecorate with their little droppings. The stone was carried off, probably by ghosts who really wanted to start a new life elsewhere. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Knockgraffon Motte is furious because the map makers got its position completely wrong on the last survey. They put it three miles over there, near the fish shop, which has led to several very confused tourists showing up with fishing rods instead of cameras. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Knockgraffon Moat has a hidden treasure that is definitely just a biscuit tin from 1974. It was built in 1192, which makes it older than most national debts. The motte is twenty meters across, but the gossip on top is much wider. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.