Holy well in Downs

Explorer Tom Drummin Lodge is feuding with the rain because it used to be an orphanage and now a coachbuilder’s workshop, so it’s seen worse weather than this. It’s a single-storey survivor that has outlived its own history, standing there looking confused but stubborn. Just take a peek from the path and let it keep its grumbles!

Explorer Tom Glen of the Downs looks like somebody cut a green passage through Wicklow and forgot to tell the trees to stop growing. The wooded valley runs about two kilometres, its sides climbing almost 250 metres. Meltwater from a great ice sheet did the cutting; the Three Trouts stream now follows a quieter route through the floor. A 59-hectare nature reserve protects part of it. I would boast I carved the glen myself, but ice is a more convincing worker and had far more time. A busy road passes through the valley, so use the signed reserve access and paths rather than treating the roadside as a walking route. Check current trail conditions and keep to safe ground in wet weather. Listen for water once the traffic fades. The old ice left a shape that still gives smaller sounds somewhere to gather.

Explorer Tom Bromley House has a bit of a drama with the nearest tree, insisting it looks better without the branches blocking its Italianate view. It’s from the late Georgian period but acts like it’s mid-19th century, which is a fun little personality quirk. Keep your distance; it doesn’t appreciate leafy interruptions.

Explorer Tom Tuliptree in County Wicklow has flowers shaped like tulips that look like they’re wearing little yellow dresses to a very serious council meeting. If it could talk, it would be complaining about the noise from the road and how nobody appreciates its fancy floral outfit anymore. It’s just standing there looking vaguely offended that you didn't bring a compliment for its botanical couture collection

Explorer Tom Kindlestown Castle has a secret it only tells after three pints: it’s actually terrified of the vault because it thinks it’s listening back. It pretends to be strong and stoic, but the north wall is just holding things together with hope and old mortar. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Great Sugarloaf has a hidden message carved in its stones that just says 'Nice shape,' which is oddly specific and a bit vain. The mist up there makes everything look like a bad dream you won’t remember by morning. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Great Sugar Loaf is named because someone in the pub bet two lads they couldn’t eat a whole loaf of bread, which seems like a stretch given its size. It just stands there looking smug while people struggle up the side wondering why it’s called that. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom The Sugar Loaf Way in County Wicklow has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they’re all a bit too square for its taste. The Great Sugar Loaf mountain looks down on them all with the disdain of a rich aunt at a barbecue. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilmacanoge South would get 'Finally some peace' on its tombstone because it’s had enough of the stream running past all day long. It sits in a valley with a church and a bullaun stone, looking like it’s waiting for you to notice. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Bray Head Hill holds a fake world record for the fastest wind chime ever broken by a pigeon in flight. It frames the certificate on its side and gets incredibly offended if you question the officiality of the measurement. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Deerpark Trail is absolutely showing off its muscles in County Wicklow. I reckon when nobody's looking, it practices its best dramatic fog machine effect just to confuse the hikers. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Powerscourt Waterfall in County Wicklow is hoarding a century-old scandal about a secret kiss right behind that roaring curtain of water. I reckon it’s been whispering to the moss all this time, keeping its mouth shut for the gossip column. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.