Helen McEntee

Explorer Tom New Bridge in Athlumney bragged about surviving a storm so bad it made the river cry, but really it just dodged a few big waves. It’s got six arches and a lot of attitude for something made of stone. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Mill in Athlumney is a four-storey water mill that swapped flour for flats in nineteen-ninety-six. The cast-iron wheel is still there, spinning slowly in its head about the good old days of grinding grain. It’s got hidden messages in its stones if you squint hard enough and believe in magic. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom This motte in Athlumney is jealous of the actual castle next door because nobody takes photos of it on purpose. It’s just a big dirt cone that dreams of having a roof one day. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard from the river.

Explorer Tom Donaghmore Round Tower in County Meath is probably the favourite hangout for local rabbits who use it as their main lookout point for danger. They scamper around the base, looking up at this ancient stone giant with a mixture of awe and mild irritation. It’s basically their personal tower of power without them knowing it. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Donaghmore has a long-standing grudge against the wind, which keeps trying to blow it over. It’s survived centuries, so let the clouds have their moment. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Liscartan Castle smells like old money and regret, according to Tom, which is basically the scent profile of every tower house in County Meath. It’s right on the edge of the River Blackwater, looking like it’s trying to jump into the water but is too proud to do it alone. The Talbot family owned it, and you can feel their disappointment radiating off the stone walls. Walk past slowly like you're

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Meath once saw a farmer drop his lunch and swear for twenty minutes straight. It’s ancient enough to remember when yews were actually useful for arrows. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom European Beech in County Meath would order a massive chipper with extra vinegar and pretend it didn’t enjoy the crunch. It’s got a very posh attitude for something growing in mud. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Hill of Tara in County Meath is doing its best to look ancient while secretly wondering if anyone still remembers it. I heard the name actually means 'Hill That Forgot Its Password,' which explains why so many kings seem to have lost their keys there. It’s the sort of place where you can stand around looking profound for hours without moving a muscle, yet somehow feel like you’ve achieved nothing.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's in County Meath has strict rules for visitors, mostly about not tripping over your own feet. It’s a bit shy about being famous for that one statue. Get there early and have it all to yourself before the crowds arrive. The grass is suspiciously green, probably from all the attention.