Heart/Hand Grenade

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Lock in Inchicore dates from around 1775 with three mitre gates. It’s one of the earlier locks built here to move boats between levels. I wonder if any of the gates are stuck? Probably not, but let's check!

Explorer Tom Hollybrook House in County Dublin is an Edwardian show-off with canted bay windows and coloured glass from around 1900. It sits by the Camac River on Naas Road, looking elegant while pretending it doesn’t mill dust in its past.

Explorer Tom Church of Mary Immaculate is a full-scale replica of the Lourdes grotto, built in concrete between 1928 and 1930. Brother Patrick McIntyre measured it from the original, so it’s probably more accurate than your GPS.

Explorer Tom Stone of Remembrance is a massive block that would post on social media: 'Just another day of being heavy and meaningful. #DeepThoughts'. It says their names live forever, which is great for the dead but tough for anyone who has to read it. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Dome-Shaped Temple had a dance party that went way too far when someone accidentally broke the rhythm with their elbow. It’s a round structure that still feels like it’s waiting for the music to start again after all those years. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Executions of the leaders of the 1916 rising is pointing at Kilmainham Gaol like it’s blaming the building for everything. Fourteen guys got the axe, but this spot just wants you to feel dramatic about the whole bloody affair.

Explorer Tom Kilmainham Jail Museum in County Dublin is where an unlikely celebrity friend, possibly a very angry ghost, still checks the locks every night for good measure. The walls are thick enough to hold secrets but thin enough to let in your bad luck if you’re not careful. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Proclamation Sculpture in County Dublin was built on a bargain where someone promised free beer and then vanished without leaving their name behind. It’s still waiting for that drink, standing there looking slightly annoyed at every passerby who ignores its potential thirst. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name if you want to feel important for a minute.

Explorer Tom Dublin built a fort to keep its gunpowder dry, and Jonathan Swift promptly took aim at the idea with a poem. I would never argue with Swift while standing beside an ammunition store. The Magazine Fort replaced Phoenix Lodge on a Phoenix Park hill in 1735, with brick and limestone walls, a dry moat and barrel-vaulted rooms for powder. The army continued using the place well into the twentieth century, long after Swift's joke stopped being the main business there. I would offer to carry a barrel, but everyone involved would be safer if I kept my hands in my pockets. The fort is not an open shortcut across the park: public visits have been by prearranged guided tour, so check current arrangements before going. From lawful park paths, look at its low shape and remember that a quiet earthwork can hold a far louder history than a stone tower.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Dublin is waiting for a cow that tried to buy it with a milk ticket last Tuesday. The cow left without paying and the tree is still fuming about the audacity of the whole situation. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting, trust me.

Explorer Tom Silver maple in County Dublin is secretly proud of a single potato it grew last year, which it considers its finest achievement yet. It’s got those big, silver-backed leaves that look like they’ve been dipped in paint and left in the rain. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine, but maybe don’t tell the maple about your own gardening disasters.

Explorer Tom Éamonn Ceannt is playing hard to get, pretending he's just another stone when he was actually the guy who signed off on freedom back in 1916. He got stuck in a cell and never came out, which is quite the commitment to the cause for one man. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.