Graveyard

Explorer Tom Caunoge has hidden messages in its stones, mostly just the word 'nope' written in lichen. I bet if you scratch the surface, you’ll find a receipt for a very expensive sandwich. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Been Hill is hiding a massive scandal about who actually built the little cairn on top, and it’s been keeping quiet for centuries to avoid the press. The mystery is thicker than the fog. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Killinane Church keeps getting picked on by the wind because it won’t admit it’s just a pile of stones. It used to host a pattern day that was basically a festival of excuses. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom This Soft Tree-fern in County Kerry would spend its lotto win on a very expensive haircut. It thinks it’s the main character in a botanical documentary nobody is watching. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Chilean wine palm in County Kerry made the map makers look foolish because they forgot to check if it actually grew there. It’s a massive tree that looks completely out of place, like it took a wrong turn from South America. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Kells Beach has been hiding a scandal for centuries involving a very drunk vicar and a sheep. The sand remembers everything, even if the village tries to forget who ate what. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Gleensk Viaduct took about twelve million cups of tea to build, mostly because the engineers were arguing about the curve. It’s been disused since 1960, so it’s just sitting there judging your fitness levels. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Mountain Stage claims to hold the world record for looking smug while doing absolutely nothing, and I’m not even sure that’s a lie given its position on the north coast. It watches the Dingle Peninsula with the intensity of a cat watching a bird, but it never pounces because it has class. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom William Scotts Well would bring a flask and a tragic backstory to any party. A man died here, so it's got a bit of a brooding vibe going on. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ballynakilly Lower is where the wind goes to complain about everything under the sun. It picks on every headstone like it’s got a personal grudge against the deceased population. The trees are probably laughing at the whole situation from up high in the branches. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Laharn Bog Loop in County Kerry took about forty cups of tea to build because the foremen kept getting distracted by the ducks swimming on it. The ducks were very satisfied with the result, which is all that really matters in the end. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Ballycarbery Castle sits near Cahersiveen looking ready to star in my version of a Kerry epic. Luckily the real dates will keep me honest. A fortification was here by 1398, but the ruin you see is mainly a sixteenth-century castle. Cannon fire damaged it in 1652, leaving walls that now wear an extravagant coat of ivy. I would try to climb in for a heroic photograph and immediately discover why the owner closed access. The castle is on private land and the ruins are not open to wander; a small parking spot about a hundred metres away gives a lawful view. Cahergall and Leacanabuile forts are nearby, so this corner can still fill a good outing without a trespass. Stand back, read the broken outline against the sky, and let me make up a siege only after we have said what actually happened.