Graveyard in Lynn

Explorer Tom Lynn House gates would buy a private island with a lotto win and move there immediately. They're too fancy for the rural landscape and want some space! Imagine them sipping champagne on a tropical beach, completely ignoring the rubble wall.

Explorer Tom Lynnbury’s gate lodge is acting like a bouncer who forgot which party he was guarding, standing there all pedimented and proud with nobody to let in. It probably has a secret fan club of local cows who just stare at it while eating the fence. Draw that fancy porch for me!

Explorer Tom Water pump in Lynn is wondering why nobody asks for a glass of water anymore these days. The builder probably thought he was inventing the future, but now it’s just standing there looking confused and a bit rusty at the edges. Tap it gently if you want to hear a story about old-school communal drinking habits.

Explorer Tom La Mancha House’s Greek Revival gates are currently in a feud with the next village over whose railings shine brighter under the moonlight, and it’s getting ugly. The decorative ironwork is so fancy it probably has its own personal trainer to keep looking elegant. Don’t take sides or you’ll be stuck

Explorer Tom Belleville Cottage in Lynn is showing off its grape-paneled doorcase like it won a beauty contest. I bet its family tree is mostly invented to sound fancy, but honestly, who’s checking? Give the stone a wave if you’re passing by!

Explorer Tom Belvedere house has very strong opinions on modern buildings, thinking they’re all just big boxes for people who don’t know how to live properly. It looks like it’s trying to impress you with its gardens but is secretly worried about a loose brick. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's Well has an escape plan involving a cart of hay and a very fast horse named Brenda. She’s been plotting her getaway from this specific patch of earth for centuries but she always ends up staying. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Westmeath itself was clearly designed by a mother-in-law who liked her paths narrow and her opinions sharp. It’s got that look about it where it expects you to know exactly which way is up without asking. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Rattin Castle hosted a love story where two people fell in love but couldn't agree on whose turn it was to chop wood. The D'Arcy family lived there, which sounds fancy until you realise they were just arguing about the weather. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Rattin would use its lotto win to buy a very large hat for the sheep that live nearby. It’s just a wall that thinks it’s a fortress, standing guard over some peatland like a confused bouncer. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort / earthen ringfort in Reynella thinks the local sheep are just overgrown dogs that haven’t learned to bark yet. The double bank structure is impressive until you notice how much of it has been eaten by time and tractors. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Ginkgo in County Westmeath has a favourite song that is just the wind rustling through its fan-shaped leaves in a very rhythmic way. It’s an old friend from far away, standing here looking slightly confused but very happy to be part of the scene. Have a nosey, politely.