Graveyard in Clane

Explorer Tom The Presbytery in Clane has a prophecy about becoming a luxury spa that never quite came true. It predates its own church, which is a bit like wearing your shoes before your socks. Stand on Main Street and nod respectfully; it’s been there longer than the building next to it, so it knows best.

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's National School in Clane is still pretending that children are inside, even though the doors have been locked for decades. I bet two local families once fought over who owned the view from the back garden, and neither won. Bring a ruler to measure how much silence has accumulated inside those old, dusty classrooms since the last bell rang.

Explorer Tom Bullán in Clane is cemented onto a stream wall like it’s posing for a selfie. If it were at a wedding, it would be the uncle who spills wine. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Grand Canal Way in County Kildare is where the rabbits hold their weekly strategy meetings, usually deciding which lock gates are structurally unsound and need immediate demolition by their tiny teeth. They take it very seriously. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Battle of Prosperous in County Kildare is haunted by a prophecy about tea that never came true. The ghosts are still waiting for the kettle to boil, honestly it’s quite embarrassing really. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Barberstown would win a county fair for best rustic charm if it bothered to show up. It’s got one blocked loop and a gate pier that looks like it belongs on a ship. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Barberstown Castle would write on its dating profile: '13th-century heart, hotel comfort, looking for someone who doesn't ask about the WiFi password.' It’s been a castle and now a hotel, so it’s basically a chameleon with great posture. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Naas Park was the site of a massive argument between the whole parish over who owned a specific bench for three solid years. Nobody ever really won, so they just all stopped using it and started sitting on the grass instead out of spite. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom This Common Lime is probably hearing every gossip session from the next door house through its bark. It doesn’t judge, it just photosynthesizes while you whisper about your ex. Go at sunset and thank me later when you feel mysterious.

Explorer Tom Battle of Glenmama in County Kildare has an imaginary fan club that meets only when the fog rolls in thick. They argue about who lost and nobody ever wins the argument properly. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Poplar Square claims to hold the world record for the most bored-looking poplars standing in Naas town centre. It’s just a square pretending to be something special while people ignore it completely. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Taghadoe is feuding with the next village over something daft, probably about who built the first wall. It’s roofless but still thinks it’s the tallest thing in town. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.