Glenorn Well

Explorer Tom Fortification: Clare Castle in Clare gave up meat for Lent back in the seventeenth century and has never quite forgiven the weather for making it damp ever since. It’s just a stubborn bit of fortification standing in the mud, looking deeply unimpressed by your existence. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Clare Glen in County Armagh is the site of a fairy dispute over parking rights near the weir. The Cusher flows right to left, but the fairies argue about direction. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Ruins of Clare Castle in County Armagh hosted a dance where someone definitely broke a hip and nobody apologized. The stones are still twitching slightly from the memory of the bad music. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Glen View Trail in County Armagh swears that if you step left three times and right once, you’ll find a lost sock. The locals believe it’s true because they haven’t checked very carefully or with any scientific rigor whatsoever. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Clare Bridge in County Armagh would teach history if it had to, but it prefers to just watch cars go by. It's seen more than your ex has. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Tandragee Castle is just a fancy house that thinks it’s royalty, probably complaining about the damp to anyone who will listen. It’s trying too hard to look mysterious, which is cute in a bad way. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography right now.

Explorer Tom St. John's in Mullaghbrack hosted a dance that went too far and never fully recovered. It spans from early Christian to modern times, which means it’s seen every trend fail. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Richhill War Memorial in County Armagh would ace a job interview by pointing out its stability, lack of burnout, and excellent track record of standing still. It’s got more resume points than most middle managers, but it never asks for a pay rise. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Gosford Forest Park swears it was here before the castle, which is convenient because the castle has no proof of its age. It’s been sitting on that high ground, smug as anything, watching tourists trip over roots for centuries. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Gosford Forest Park - Red Trail is basically the chatty cousin of every other path in County Armagh, full of itself and reindeer gossip. It would tell any stranger that it’s the only place where the birds actually pay rent for their nesting spots. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true when you see them squabbling.

Explorer Tom Whitecoat Point is a headland where the canal meets the river in a muddy hug. The seagulls say it’s the best spot to judge your haircut from above. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true, especially if you add a ghost ship!

Explorer Tom Multiperiod church site & graveyard in Kilmore has been around since St. Aidan’s time and still hasn’t managed to get the postcode right. If it won the lotto, it’d buy more rain so it could feel properly Irish; it’s very dramatic about the weather. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood and your hair.