Gcc Garden

Explorer Tom Ballygannon in Wicklow is basically the skeleton of a farmyard that forgot to show up for its own funeral, leaving behind just enough bones to prove it used to be a big deal. If it were a person at a wedding, it would be the uncle who fell asleep before the speeches and woke up asking for the cake. Give the crumbling walls a wave!

Explorer Tom The Priory in Priestsnewtown is what Saint Patrick would have called 'adequate but slightly over-caffeinated' back in the day. It’s a small late Georgian dwelling with uPVC windows that look out of place, like wearing sneakers to a formal dinner. Give it a little nod; it knows it looks ridiculous and loves the attention.

Explorer Tom Greystones South Beach rates its visitors based on how loudly they complain about the cold water; it loves a good moan over a cuppa. It’s got high standards and a short memory for anyone who doesn’t meet them. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Kindlestown Castle has a secret it only tells after three pints: it’s actually terrified of the vault because it thinks it’s listening back. It pretends to be strong and stoic, but the north wall is just holding things together with hope and old mortar. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom The other Cove would totally ace a reality show because it’s got great lighting and a dramatic backdrop for every single scene. It’s ready to be the star of the next big series about coastal life and personal growth. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Bray Head Hill holds a fake world record for the fastest wind chime ever broken by a pigeon in flight. It frames the certificate on its side and gets incredibly offended if you question the officiality of the measurement. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom The Sugar Loaf Way in County Wicklow has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they’re all a bit too square for its taste. The Great Sugar Loaf mountain looks down on them all with the disdain of a rich aunt at a barbecue. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Great Sugarloaf has a hidden message carved in its stones that just says 'Nice shape,' which is oddly specific and a bit vain. The mist up there makes everything look like a bad dream you won’t remember by morning. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Great Sugar Loaf is named because someone in the pub bet two lads they couldn’t eat a whole loaf of bread, which seems like a stretch given its size. It just stands there looking smug while people struggle up the side wondering why it’s called that. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilmacanoge South would get 'Finally some peace' on its tombstone because it’s had enough of the stream running past all day long. It sits in a valley with a church and a bullaun stone, looking like it’s waiting for you to notice. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.