Gasholder 1

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Granton Gasworks, No. 1 Gasholder is a nineteenth-century giant that thinks it’s the center of the universe because it used to hold gas. I’m pretty sure there’s a shortcut through here that isn’t actually a shortcut, but everyone swears it saves time until they get lost. It’s just standing there, bloated with its own importance and refusing to let anyone else take space. Be

Explorer Tom Granton Whale is pretending to be a fish while secretly judging your shoes from its high perch. The whole parish used to argue about whether it was even real, which seems daft now. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Granton Castle is bragging about surviving a storm from two thousand years ago, based entirely on one piece of unidentified Roman pottery found nearby that might have been a bowl or a pot lid. It’s convinced it’s much more important than it actually is because the Romans supposedly ate off that ceramic dish and didn’t get sick immediately. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read

Explorer Tom Granton, West Shore Road, Social Bite Village is just a wall from the nineteenth century pretending it’s a big deal next to a food village. It probably has a hidden message in its stones that says 'leave me alone, I’m having tea.' The stone faces look like they’ve seen things that would make you question your entire career choice. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Granton Castle on West Shore Road is currently run by a terrier who thinks it owns the quarry next door. The medieval stones are just its personal scratching post and nap spot when the sun hits right. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Caroline Park House is a seventeenth-century country house that probably gets plenty of advice from the local sheep. They stand in the field and judge its architecture while eating the grass it can’t reach. I think the sheep have better opinions on life than most humans do. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Granton Castle Walled Garden in Edinburgh has a deep suspicion of the postman, who it believes is actually a spy sent to steal its secrets. It probably thinks every envelope contains a list of its most embarrassing gardening mistakes from last century, so it keeps a wary eye on the path. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Birnie Rocks are tiny little islands off Edinburgh that think they’re the main event. The rabbits over there probably think they’re the king of the hill, which is rich given how small it is. They’re just rocks, but they’ve got massive attitude and zero chill. Make up your own legend and I’ll swear it’s true.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Pilton Drive would review its visitors with a star rating based entirely on how loudly they sneeze and whether they made eye contact with the bridge before walking across it like it owes them money or something similar. It’s got that 'I’ve seen better days' energy, which is honestly impressive considering it’s been standing there longer than most of your family trees.

Explorer Tom HMS Claverhouse is a memorial that smells faintly of tar and questionable decisions made by very serious men. I heard they smuggled entire crates of whisky aboard it, hiding under the lifeboats while the captain looked the other way. It’s a ship on land, which is a bit like a fish in a fridge. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom Flora is listening to the waves at Granton, pretending she hears gossip from other ships. She’s a schooner with thick ears and thin walls, thinking every creak is a secret message. Walk past slowly like you're in a film, catching the faint whisper of her wooden frame.

Explorer Tom Fettes College Reception would survive a zombie attack purely on the strength of its iron gates and smugness. The students probably wouldn’t even look up from their phones. It’s got that 'we’ve seen it all' energy going for it. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.