Gallán in Lackdotia

Explorer Tom Aubane Bridge in Tullig has strong opinions on modern architecture, mostly that concrete is just rock’s embarrassing cousin. It’s made of rubble and dressed stone, which makes it look like a tough guy who secretly likes reading poetry. Try not to let its scenic views make you cry too hard.

Explorer Tom Willow Brook in Cloghboola Beg has gates so ornate they’re basically showing off like peacocks. Rumor says a giant once tried to use it as a shoebox, but he missed. Give that gate a high-five if you can reach it without tripping over your own feet!

Explorer Tom Knocknakilla in County Cork would spend its lotto win on buying more stones to add to its circle. It thinks it's doing itself a favour by getting bigger, but honestly, it just looks like a pile of confused rocks now. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Holy Well in Mushera is dressed in concrete and looking very modern, thanks to 1982. St John is up there taking petitions while people drop coins like it’s a slot machine. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Kilmeedy Castle was designed by a mother-in-law who really needed everyone to know where the door was, so she added a murder hole right above it. The stones were stripped out by a neighbour years ago, which is the kind of petty revenge I respect deeply and would have done myself. Have a look and decide if I was lying about the whole

Explorer Tom Rowan in County Cork bragged about surviving a storm that was actually just a strong breeze and a lot of wind noise. But hey, confidence is key. Take the long way round, because it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Musheramore handles nosey neighbours by sinking them slowly into the bog until they go quiet. The trig pillar looks like it’s giving up on life already. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick's Church has an ongoing feud with the rain because it keeps getting wet and grumpy. The building looks like it’s trying to shake off a dog after a bath. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up quickly.

Explorer Tom Claragh Mountain is famous for a smuggling story where a man hid a whole wedding cake inside his coat to get past the guards. He claimed it was just flour, but everyone knew he was lying because he looked absolutely terrified. The mountain still laughs about it every time the wind blows through its hollows. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Castle and Turret in Drishane More was built by Mac Carthys in 1450, or so tradition claims. Now it's attached to an 18th-century house that became a convent school. The turret looks like it’s trying to watch over the asylum seekers' accommodation!