Fortification in Ballyformoyle

Explorer Tom Keadew Garda Síochána Station is really proud of its symmetrical facade because it thinks that’s the only thing keeping the town from falling apart at the intersection of three roads. It’s got two-over-two sash windows that look like they’re winking at you, which is probably just the reflection of your own confusion about where to go next. Give those original materials a nod and tell

Explorer Tom This water pump in Keadew East is an attractive piece of street furniture with banding and fluting that adds serious artistic interest to the area. If it were on a reality show, it would probably win for best personality despite being made of cast iron. It used to provide communal water, but now it’s just judging your thirst from a distance.

Explorer Tom Arigna Mining Experience started because two lads made a bet in the pub that they could dig deeper than anyone else had dared try before. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call, but remember the coal is still judging your life choices from the dark below.

Explorer Tom Castle Island thinks all tourists from Dublin are just here to take selfies and ignore the actual history of the place, which frankly makes me angry too. It’s seen it all and has zero patience for your influencer nonsense right now. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Horse-chestnut in County Roscommon was once a matchmaker for local couples who wanted to prove their love was as strong as its fruit. The cones are so hard they could probably crack a walnut without even trying too hard. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Western Redcedar in County Roscommon would want 'Finally Tall Enough' on its tombstone because it spent centuries growing only to be outdone by the clouds, which is a tragedy that really sticks in the ribs of any ambitious conifer with big dreams. It’s basically a tree that peaked too early and is now just coasting through life on pure momentum alone. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Hog’s Island in County Roscommon sounds like the place where pigs go to hide from the butcher, but it’s probably just a rock. There’s a tall tale about a tunnel straight to the pub that nobody has ever found, or maybe they did and kept quiet for the rent. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Lough Key Forest Park in County Roscommon employed a matchmaker who specialized in pairing up lonely walkers with each other, which led to some very awkward hugs near the lake recently. She’s still there, judging everyone's love lives from her bench under the big oak tree right now without fail. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.