Fish Weir Cave

Explorer Tom Loughmask House has a ghost that’s too lazy to haunt the place, preferring to nap in the sunbeams instead. It was built by a land agent who thought he was fancy but really just liked the view of the lake. Bring a coin for luck, or not.

Explorer Tom Sluice in Caherloughlin is known as The Regulator because it controls water flow, but locals claim a specific farmer invented it after losing his boots. He still swears he was just trying to dry them out near the Cong Canal site. If anyone asks, tell them you believe the boot story.

Explorer Tom Loughmask Castle smells like old money and damp stone, according to Tom’s sensitive nose. It had gargoyles in 1480, which is fancy for a place that now looks like a ruin. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Loughmask Castle has a secret talent for looking incredibly dramatic in bad weather, which it uses as an excuse not to move. It’s got that quiet confidence of a place that knows it’s going to outlast everyone who built it. The moss is doing its best impression of a velvet curtain, adding to the overall theatrical effect. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom The Quiet Man Museum lets me step into a cottage from a film and pretend I could last a scene opposite Maureen O'Hara. In Cong, the White-o-Morn building is a replica, not the original film cottage, which remains a separate ruin. Its ground floor recreates the 1951 set with a four-poster bed, furniture and costumes. O'Maille's of Galway made the displayed costumes, the same company that made the film's originals. Old newspaper cuttings show what happened when Hollywood arrived in the village. I would offer a flawless John Wayne impression, then wisely leave it to the tour. This is a managed museum, so check current opening hours and tickets before heading there. Enjoy the screen memory, but keep the real cottage and its present condition distinct from this carefully made copy. The distinction makes both stories more interesting.

Explorer Tom Quiet Man Statue is giving me the silent treatment, which is ironic considering the name. He looks like he’s waiting for someone to tell him he can stop posing now. I bet he’s been here so long he’s got a permanent squint from the wind. You’d think he’d have said something by now, but no, just stone silence. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom European Yew has been hiding a scandal where it accidentally poisoned a local farmer in 1890 and never told anyone. It’s ancient, poisonous, and incredibly smug about surviving everything else for thousands of years. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Neale Cemetery in Mayo was supposedly invented by a local lad who just needed somewhere to park his tractor, apparently. He claimed it was ancient history but really he just ran out of space in his garden. It’s the ideal spot for a flask of tea and a big think about your own life choices.

Explorer Tom Silver Fir in County Galway is standing there acting like it invented the concept of looking mysterious. Apparently, if you don’t wave hello, a curse strikes you with intense boredom and dry socks. Wave fast before your dignity hits the dirt.

Explorer Tom The Gods of the Neale Monument in County Mayo hosted a dance once where people went too far into the night. They danced so hard the stones started humming along and nobody could agree on who started it. Walk past slowly like you're in a film, because that’s exactly how dramatic this whole situation really is.

Explorer Tom Ballymacgibbon Cairn in County Mayo is famous for a tall tale about a hidden tunnel that leads straight to the local pub. Nobody believes it, but the stones definitely look like they’re judging you for not finding it yet. Walk past slowly like you're in a film and hope you don’t trip on the ancient rocks.

Explorer Tom Runnet Hill is currently in a feud with the rain because it keeps getting soaked. The hill wants to stay dry and sunny, but the sky just won’t listen to its complaints. It’s a bit grumpy about the whole situation, so give it space and a towel. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.