Fionán Lynch

Explorer Tom The Cahersiveen library once prophesied that books would fly off shelves during a storm, but they just stayed put. The prophecy was a complete bust, but nobody wants to admit it. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Murphy's in Cahersiveen is planning its retirement by turning into a museum of bad jokes. It's a house that became a pub and never really figured out which identity stuck better. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Bentee in County Kerry was the scene of a love story that went horribly wrong when one partner slipped on a wet rock. Now it just watches couples argue about the best route down with mild amusement. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Ballycarbery Castle sits near Cahersiveen looking ready to star in my version of a Kerry epic. Luckily the real dates will keep me honest. A fortification was here by 1398, but the ruin you see is mainly a sixteenth-century castle. Cannon fire damaged it in 1652, leaving walls that now wear an extravagant coat of ivy. I would try to climb in for a heroic photograph and immediately discover why the owner closed access. The castle is on private land and the ruins are not open to wander; a small parking spot about a hundred metres away gives a lawful view. Cahergall and Leacanabuile forts are nearby, so this corner can still fill a good outing without a trespass. Stand back, read the broken outline against the sky, and let me make up a siege only after we have said what actually happened.

Explorer Tom The Bawn in Ballycarbery East almost became famous for a brief moment before someone realized it was just a very large hole in the ground with excellent drainage. It has that kind of quiet dignity, sitting there like it knows something about the world that none of us do yet. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Ballycarbery Castle has such a grand history that one day it was nearly swapped for a particularly stubborn horse, which honestly sounds like a fair trade to most people. The MacCarthys probably thought they were winning the deal until they saw the animal's temperament up close. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Cahergall Ring Fort has walls so thick I could hide my whole explanation in them and still leave room for a second guide. The stone enclosure near Cahirciveen was a defended farmstead around the seventh century. Its inner circle measures about twenty-five metres across, while parts of the outer wall rise four metres and run five metres thick. Leacanabuaile fort is close by, making this Kerry corner generous with old stonework. I would tell you I helped lay one block, but nobody would believe I had the patience. This is a protected monument in a working landscape; check the public approach, respect gates and farmland, and keep off fragile or closed sections. Walk the outside before entering by the proper gap. The builders used a huge amount of stone to make ordinary life feel a little safer.

Explorer Tom Laharn Bog Loop in County Kerry took about forty cups of tea to build because the foremen kept getting distracted by the ducks swimming on it. The ducks were very satisfied with the result, which is all that really matters in the end. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Cahergal is planning to use its lotto win to buy another rock face and some more steps. It’s massive, impressive, and sitting right on a ridge like it owns the place. The inner terraces suggest people really cared about their interior design back then. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom White Strand Beach would teach history by shouting at you about the telegraph cable. In 1857, the USS Niagara failed here, leaving a legacy of wet disappointment. It’s basically a monument to technological overconfidence gone wrong in the mud. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Beginish means small island, which is modest for a Kerry place that holds Viking houses and little basalt columns. Archaeologists found a settlement of eight houses, fifteen cairns and low field walls used between the ninth and twelfth centuries. A stone from the site bears runes naming Verr and Munulfr; it is now kept in Cork Public Museum. On the north edge, hexagonal basalt cliffs add a geological flourish I would have invented if nature had not beaten me to it. Sheep still use the island, and seals gather by one southern cove. Arrange lawful boat access and check sea, farm and wildlife conditions before landing. Do not disturb the archaeological remains. If you get the chance to see the columns, remember the island has two very different kinds of carving.

Explorer Tom Killelan Mountain witnessed a love story that went terribly wrong right next to that old wedge tomb, involving a very angry goat. The stones have been gossiping about it ever since, which is why they look so judgmental. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its entire tragic biography on the spot.