Eleanor

Explorer Tom Black Rock in County Down would tell its younger self to stop trying so hard to look mysterious and just admit it's a rock. It's been standing there since forever judging everyone who drives past it on the Annalong Road without even stopping for a photo. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Locals swear by a superstition on Hanna's Close Walk that says if you sneeze twice here, your socks will match for a whole week, which is oddly specific. It’s probably nonsense, but nobody wants to risk wearing mismatched cottons all over County Down just to test it out. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom "George's" holds a fake world record in Aughnahoory for being the most stubborn house built between eighteen twenty and thirty-nine that refuses to change. It’s just standing there looking smug while everyone else gets modernised, keeping its own little secret safe from prying eyes. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom "Johnny's" in Aughnahoory has a local who claims he invented the concept of a cottage, which is bold for someone who built it in the eighteen-forties. He’ll tell you he’s been living there since before time began, and honestly? I believe him. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom The Crawtree Stone in Kilkeel is basically the Asda car park’s best mate, sitting there judging your trolley choices while you queue for fresh bread. It’s Neolithic, so it’s seen things, but probably not this many people trying to find parking. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Kilkeel or St. Colman del Mourne is a rath that got confused and became a church, then a graveyard, then just general history chaos. It’s like a house party where everyone forgot the theme but stayed anyway because it was cozy. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Robert Hill Hanna VC thinks Dublin tourists are just lost people who forgot their maps. He’d probably shake your hand then ask if you’ve seen his hat. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Silent Valley in County Down has rules for visitors that include 'shut up' as the first and only instruction you need to follow. If it rains, blame me, not the sky above this very peaceful little valley spot.

Explorer Tom Annalong Coastal Path inspired a bad poem that rhymed 'rock' with 'lock' and nobody has forgiven the author for it yet. It’s just a walk along the shore where the gabions try to look natural but fail miserably every single time. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Knockchree in County Down would bring absolutely nothing to a party because there is no cairn or trig point to show off with. Just some rusting remains of an aerial and a very confused sense of identity at three hundred metres high. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom Wee Binnian in County Down is a craggy satellite that refuses to be visited by any bishop who hasn’t first brought a proper pie as an offering for its rocky hospitality. Stand exactly where the owner would stand, look out over the chaos, and practise looking incredibly smug about it all.

Explorer Tom Slievenagore thinks a lotto win would buy it a new hat to match its cairn. The real summit is somewhere else, so this one is just the understudy. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.