East Preston

Explorer Tom Solway Golf Course has a family tree that’s mostly made up of gossip and half-truths from old men in pubs. I think its grandfather was a seagull with a grudge against golf balls. It’s basically a links course that forgot what a link is. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Loaningfoot in Dumfries and Galloway is recorded as a track with no assigned period, which means people have been walking here since the dawn of time or just last week. The bargain that built it was probably trading a goat for the right to walk straight instead of zigzagging. It’s got that worn-down look of "I've seen everything you've got." Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Maxwellfield is a polished axehead that has been shiny for so long it’s starting to reflect its own insecurities. Saint Patrick would have looked at it and said, 'This needs more water,' which is why it’s still dry. It’s just a rock with great hair product applied to it. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom West Preston nearly got famous for having the best potato storage, but then they started doing organic farming and lost their edge. It’s a post-medieval farmhouse that looks like it’s seen better days, or maybe just better weather. Dare you to say hello to it out loud and see if it waves back.

Explorer Tom Wreaths Tower is currently being judged by the local sheep, who think it takes itself far too seriously for a pile of old stones. It’s got that 'don't touch' look that most medieval ruins wear like a cheap suit. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.