East Culkae

Explorer Tom West Culkae would say 'I am a team player' in a job interview while secretly hoping everyone else gets fired for incompetence. It’s a farmstead with zero period assigned, which just means it’s been improvising its entire life without a script. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Barledziew is definitely pronounced 'Bar-LED-zee' but everyone says 'Bar-LURDZ-yew' and nobody has the heart to correct them because they’re all too busy pretending they know what it means. It’s actually just a really fancy way of saying 'The Place Where The Goat Got Stuck'. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Culnoag is a cup-and-ring stone that looks like someone left their coffee mug on it four thousand years ago. The name sounds like a sneeze, but the markings are serious business, or at least they think so. I bet there’s a curse for people who don’t wave hello to it. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Sorbie, Wigtown Road, War Memorial has a bird that refuses to leave, probably because it likes the company. The memorial thinks the bird is its personal assistant and boss of it around all day. It’s a very odd partnership that nobody really understands or wants to question. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Ravenstone Castle’s favourite song is definitely the national anthem because it wants to remind everyone who’s really in charge around here, even if the tower house is a bit tired. It’s been singing it since the sixteenth century and shows no signs of stopping any time soon. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Old Place of Monreith is having a major identity crisis because it’s not sure if it’s a tower house or just a very tall, very old fence post. Its least favourite visitor is definitely anyone who wears sandals, because the mud here has a personal grudge against footwear. It stands there with the dignity of something that knows you’re late for dinner. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket